More Than You Think You Are
by BellaIreland
Summary: NEW CHAPTER POSTED 020104. SORRY FOR THE DELAY... HermioneSev fic. 5 years after Hogwarts, Hermione is working in France yet, her past can't seem to let go of her. Neither can Severus.
1. All I Need

**Author:  Bella Ireland**

**Email:  Bellaireland@sbcglobal.net**

**Title:  More Than You Think You Are**

**Pairing:  SS/HG, with a bit of HG/HP in the prologue.**

**Rated:  R**

**" All I Need "**

_~~And that's all that I need, yeah_

_Someone else to cling to, yeah_

_Someone I can lean on_

_Until I don't need to_

_Just stay all through the night, yeah_

In the morning let me down 

_Cause that's all that I need right now_

_And life ain't no beauty show_

_We don't know where tomorrow ends_

_And when we're sad_

_It's kind of a drag_

_Just stay all through the night_

_In the morning let me down_

_Yeah, cause that's all that I need_

_Yeah, that's all that I need_

_Yeah, that's all that I need_

_That's all that I need right now_

_Right now~~     _

Lyrics by Matchbox Twenty PROLOGUE 

Harry stepped through the front door at Number 12, Grimmauld Place only to be nearly deafened by the shrieks of Mrs. Black.  "Filthy mudbloods!  Invading my home!  If I were alive I'd..."  Harry looked at the portrait and shook his head.  Nearly seven years after he first stepped foot in this mansion he still had to hear that cursed woman's voice.  There was nothing they could do to keep the curtains pulled.  And there was no way they could remove the painting.  They were stuck with Mrs. Black for as long as they occupied the home.  A minor drawback, but yet their headquarters had not been discovered.

There was a meeting taking place, one that he had not been invited to.  He could hear Remus, Tonks, and Albus discussing the war, and then heard a mention of him.  He wasn't one to eavesdrop, so he stormed right on into the drawing room.

"Harry isn't involved with..."   Remus shut his mouth as soon as Harry opened the door.  His eyes flashed in anger.  They were discussing his personal life.  As if it existed.  They made sure Harry wasn't romantically involved with anyone.  He'd never really had a steady girlfriend since the incident with Cho.  However, he wasn't a blushing virgin.  He had an ongoing arrangement with someone.  They basically used each other for a break from reality.  It wasn't something they both were proud of, however the current arrangement worked very well for the both of them.  

"Hello Harry.  Come on in.  We were just discussing you."  Ever since Harry's fifth year, Albus had not been one to beat around the bush with him.  He had been straightforward and honest with him.  Harry rather liked things this way.

"As I heard.  What gives you the right to concern yourself with my personal life?"

Albus stood up and approached him.  "Harry, we're just concerned that you're getting sidetracked.  That's all.  We've had three very opportune moments when we could have attacked and you backed out of every one.  We're worried that you've lost sight of the goal."

Harry was infuriated.  "Lost sight of the goal?  Are you joking?  Like I can forget that I have to kill the bastard so that everyone can live?  And how can I forget that I probably won't survive the ambush?  I do believe that I am allowed to be a bit apprehensive.  If you can guarantee me that I'll not die then I'll rush right over and finish this right now."

Tonks snorted at his tirade and Remus chuckled a bit at the stunned expression on Albus' face.  They both were in agreement with Harry.  Why should he welcome death?  No one can be that easily ready to die.  "I think that he's just concerned that you will not want to finish this task until it is too late."  Tonks nodded at Albus and he agreed.

"Yes Harry, that is all.  I am under the impression that you and Miss Granger have gotten quite a bit closer.  Is that true?"  Harry wondered how he knew of his and Hermione's arrangement then stopped.  "Who cares?  That man knows more than he tells anyone," he thought to himself.

"We have an arrangement.  Not a relationship.  Other than our friendship."  Remus understood.  So did Tonks.  They had one of those arrangements between the two of them.  It was working fairly well for the both of them.  Harry wasn't a teenager anymore.  He was a man of twenty-two and deserved to have his own private life.

"Well, that is what we're discussing.  Time is of the essence Harry.  He's planning an attack on London and we cannot allow that to happen.  There will be more deaths in that one attack, than there has been in the past three years.  We have to stop him as soon as possible.  You do understand that, don't you?"

Harry glared at Albus.  He wasn't a child anymore.  He knew how many deaths had occurred, and could imagine how many more if this war didn't end soon.

"Harry, we're not asking you to rush right in and take care of this.  We just want you to know what is going to happen if he isn't stopped."  Remus patted him on the shoulder and sat down in the chair next to him.

Harry bowed his head and appeared lost in thought.  When he spoke, it was so quiet that everyone had to strain to hear him.  "How long do I have?"

"Three weeks at the least, two months at the most.  Severus thinks he can convince him to wait until Halloween.  After all, it would be symbolic, wouldn't it?  He always was one to be dramatic."  Remus chuckled.  "The bastard died for the first time on Halloween, why not die for good this time."  

"Give me til then.  But promise me something?  You will get Hermione away from here, far away from here.  She doesn't need to witness the horror.  And if I can't stop him, she'll need to be away from London.  There's no need for her to be there when he attacks.  

"What are we to do with her?  We can't just make her disappear."  Harry knew they could find somewhere safe for her.  Severus would help.  He and Hermione were friends ever since she began helping him brew the healing potions.  Most members were healed here at Grimmauld Place instead of going to St. Mungo's.  Albus thought it would be better to cure them in private than to have the newspapers flashing important information for the entire wizarding world to see.

"Can't you get her a job somewhere?  She's always talking of France.  Can't you send her there?  I am sure Snape can pull some strings with his acquaintances over there.  And then there is the matter of Ron.  He'll need to go somewhere as well.  He won't…"  Tonks cut him off.

"I am surprised you can get Ron away from your side long enough to visit the loo.  He'll not be so easily persuaded to leave.  I daresay he would go as far as killing to ensure he doesn't leave your side."  She was right.  There was no way Harry could get Ron away from him.

"Besides, Harry.  He shows you the same loyalty that Sirius showed me.  You have to ask yourself, would you go away if Ron were in your shoes?"  Harry nodded in defeat.  Ron would have to stay.  But he could get Hermione out of here.  "Okay, Ron stays.  But what are we going to do with Hermione?  She must leave within the next few days.  I have to train more vigorously.  She cannot see me preparing for my last stand with Voldemort.  It would be too painful for her.  She loves Ron and me more than anything in this world.  We can't let her see this."

"Give me some time Harry.  I'll get something worked out."  Albus stood and made for the door.  "Good day Remus, Tonks, Harry.  I shall see you at the next meeting.  Right now, I must get to work on the plan to get Hermione out of England." 

Once he was gone, Tonks and Remus tried to sneak out the side door.  They knew Harry was going to let them have it.  "What the hell do you think you're doing?  You're not going anywhere until I am through with the two of you."  Remus saw the look in his eye and knew he was caught.  Their own little secret wasn't such a secret anymore.

"Take it easy, Harry.  We didn't tell him anything.  He approached us.  It seems that someone was none too happy to see you two in the garden the other night."

"Snape?  That figures.  I know he wants to shag Her…"  Remus cut him off.

"No, for once it wasn't Severus.  It was Moody.  That magical eye does see everything."

"UGHHH,"  Tonks and Harry said in unison.

"Either way, you've got to convince her to leave." 

 Tonks patted him on the shoulder.  "It's the only way love."

"I know.  But tell me this?  Why does everyone I love have to leave me?  Why can't I have just a little piece of happiness in my life?"  Remus felt sorry for his friend.  He didn't have an answer for him.  When Tonks and he didn't answer, Harry turned for the door.  Harry nodded and left.  No matter how much she mattered to him, he had to convince Hermione that she was needed somewhere else.

~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~

Later that evening, Hermione and Harry made their way out into the garden, and around to the gazebo.  Harry had to talk to her.  He had to make sure she knew that he loved her, but that he wasn't in love with her.  He had to make sure she left England, and that she would be safe and protected.  She was the closest thing he ever had to loving.  He knew in his heart that when he attacked Voldemort on Halloween, he wouldn't be coming back.  He would die in that fight.  But it was okay.  Hermione would be safe and she would live a long, happy life.  He would gladly sacrifice himself a hundred times to ensure she lived to be a hundred years old.

"Mione, we need to talk."  Harry motioned for her to sit down, and breathed in deeply.  He stuck his chest out and gathered all the courage he had.  "We have to stop this arrangement between us."  Hermione looked at him like he was crazy.

"What?"  She was confused.  She thought things were working out fine between the both of them.

"We can't do this anymore.  And I don't think that I can see you as much as I do now."  Hermione looked at him like he'd grown another head.

"This little arrangement was your idea as well.  And as far as I knew, it wasn't serious."  She clenched her fists at her sides.  "Why are you doing this Harry?"

He wanted to tell her it was all to do with Voldemort, but he couldn't.  If she thought he truly didn't want to be with her anymore, then maybe it would be easier for her to leave him.  "It's complicated.  Just leave it at that.  But this has to stop.  Now, tonight."  

"Don't you think I deserve an explanation?  You of all people, I would have thought…"  She had tears welling up in her eyes, and she fought so hard not to cry.  The battle was lost before it begun.  Her tears flowed out of her eyes and down her sunburned cheeks.  Harry could never stand to see Hermione cry.

"Hermione, love.  There are things that I have to do.  You must promise me that if you get a chance at a life away from here, away from this destruction you will go.  Promise me that."  He knelt in front of her and placed his lips upon her hands.  "Please."

Deep in her heart, she knew it would come to this.  She always knew.  She knew he would never let her spend her life waiting for him to come home.  He wouldn't be coming home.  She had accepted that fact long ago, but she didn't have to like it.  "Harry, you are talking as if you're as good as dead."

"I might as well be.  We still don't know all about this connection."  He pointed to his scar.  "Or what is going to happen when I defeat him.  But that isn't important now.  You and your safety are important.  Promise Ron and I that you will leave if you get the opportunity.  You weren't meant to die in this war.  Maybe Ron is, maybe I am, but you are not.  I won't let you."  Hermione nodded at him and tried to gain some composure.

"If I must leave, I will.  But promise me you'll keep in touch with me.  I can send owls through Severus or Tonks.  Promise me that much."  Harry nodded, but he knew he wouldn't.  He had to make her see that her life without him needed to start immediately.

"And, Harry.  Give me this last request."  He nodded.

"Anything 'Mione.  Anything at all."  

Make love to me."  Harry looked at her skeptically, and she continued.  "Harry, we've had sex many, many times.  I want you to make love to me.  Really make love to me.  This might be our last chance and I don't want to live with regrets."  Harry understood her reasons for wanting this.  He needed it too.  He grabbed her hand and led her over behind a row of bushes.

While kissing her soft lips, he couldn't help question his sanity.  He had a beautiful woman before him, begging him to make love to her, yet he was sending her away forever.  He knew he had to make love to her.  He wanted it more than ever before.  He needed to hold her and be with her tonight.  He didn't know what tomorrow had in store for him.  But he knew what he wanted tonight.

"Of course, Hermione.  How can I deny you that?"   

~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~

While Harry and Hermione made love, two former enemies made their way in from the woods behind the manor.  They thought the wards had been breached in the rear and were sent to investigate.  They happened upon the pair making love, but neither one approached.

They watched for a few short seconds, then made their way inside.  Both were needed elsewhere, and a pair of copulating young adults was the last thing on their minds.  Truth be known, one of the pair was a little jealous that he wasn't the one receiving the affections of the young lady.  And the other, he was very proud of his young friend.  He was doing the right thing.  The world would know it, one day.  When they were all free of Lord Voldemort.  He could see the statue of Harry in the Ministry of Magic right now.  It brought a smile to his face, yet his companion just kept on scowling.  


	2. Bright Lights

**Author:  Bella Ireland**

**Email:  Bellaireland@sbcglobal.net**

**Title:  More Than You Think You Are**

**Pairing:  SS/HG, with a bit of HG/HP in the prologue.**

**Rated:  R**

**_"Bright Lights" _**

****

_I got a hole in me now_

_I got a scar I can talk about_

_She keeps a picture of me in her apartment in the city_

_But some things in this world_

_Man, they don't make sense_

_Some things you don't leave until they leave you _

_And then the things that you miss, you say_

_Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone_

_Who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world_

_And maybe, maybe, maybe_

_You'll find something that's enough to keep you_

_But if the bright lights don't receive you_

_You should turn yourself around and come on home_

****

**_~ Lyrics by Matchbox Twenty~_**

**Chapter 1**

"Leave them be, Severus.  I am sure this is the last time they will ever have the chance."  Severus scowled and followed Remus into the manor.  He had been summoned on a newly developed, yet important matter.  They happened to be checking the wards on the grounds when they came upon the lovers.  Severus was jealous he had wanted to share Hermione's passion for months now.  He knew there was no way she could be interested in someone like him, but perhaps in a different time.  They shared a passion for potions, and most of all, they shared a passion for learning.  She thrived with newly found knowledge.  And, truth be known, he got pleasure from teaching her.  She never tried to change him.  She seemed to enjoy his company the way it was.  Truth be known, he enjoyed her company as well.

"Where is Albus?"  Severus asked coldly.  After seeing Hermione and Harry making love, he was in an even fouler mood.  He had suspected that they had been seeing each other for months now, but he still held onto the one little shred of hope that he was incorrect.  Now, after confirming his suspicions, he only wanted to go home and obliviate himself in a bottle of vodka.

"He's in the kitchen.  I am sure Molly has assaulted him with today's newest confections."  Since Molly had no one living at home anymore, she decided her culinary skills were desperately needed at headquarters.  Each day, she made some new and improved version of cakes, pastries, and pies.  Severus found Albus sitting at the table.  He had on the most atrocious colored robes, and a giant bib tucked into them.  Molly had just placed yet another cup of tea and saucer of cake in front of him.

"Hewwo Sevurus,"  he mumbled around a mouthful of cake.  

"Albus."  Severus' voice was unattached and cold.  In hindsight, no different then it usually was.  He sat down at the table and summoned a cup of tea.  "I understand there has been a new development?"  Severus watched Albus swallow the mouthful of food, then waited while he dabbed at a spot of tea in his beard.

"Yes, yes.  It appears that Harry has been reluctant to finish his task due to his involvement with Miss Granger."  Severus snorted.  Of course, it would have to do with Harry.  Lately, everything Albus asked for help with concerned Harry.  

"And this affects me how?"  Severus was furious that he had been brought here to discuss Harry and Hermione's involvement.  He could think of better things to do with his time.  Like count the stones in his bedroom walls.  

"Well, it appears that he's afraid to finish this war because he's in fear for Hermione's life.  He wants to ensure she isn't harmed and that she will survive this war.  The news that you shared with me yesterday evening has had a profound affect upon him.  He wants us to send her away, and then he'll prepare for this battle.  He knows that he'll probably perish in the fight and he wants her as far away from harm as possible."

"How noble, " Severus sneered.

"Am I incorrect in assuming that you want no harm to befall on Miss Granger?"  Severus knew that Albus had sensed his feelings for Hermione.  He just hadn't brought it out into the open yet.  By doing so, he would shatter the illusion that Severus truly didn't feel anything for her.  

"No you are not, Albus.  Of course I do not wish any harm to Hermione."  Molly turned at Severus' calling her by her given name.  She had never heard Severus call her anything but Miss Granger.  He even still addressed her as Mrs. Weasley.  She realized in that moment that Severus Snape cared deeply for Hermione, her surrogate daughter.  She regarded Hermione just as she did Ginny.  In her heart, she may have given birth only seven times, but she mothered nine children.  Severus saw her gawking and gave her his best glare, the one reserved for Neville Longbottom.

"It has been requested that we send her away to protect her.  Now, do you still have the colleague in Lyon?  Perhaps he will be looking for an assistant?  Perhaps a very capable Potions Mistress?"

"She is far from a Potions Mistress, Albus."

"Perhaps, but I daresay that the only thing separating her from that title is the fact that she hasn't taken the tests required for the licensing." 

Severus knew when he had been defeated.  "And you would like for me to contact him and see if perhaps Miss Granger would be an asset to him?"  Albus nodded in approval.  "Very well.  When are you expecting her to leave?"

"As soon as possible.  If Harry has done his part, she is learning that their relationship is over right this very moment.  She should be ready to leave within a few days."  Severus was tempted to tell Albus they were currently shagging in the bushes, but fought the urge.  He would ridicule Potter in an instant, but Hermione, she was a different story.

"I shall write Philippe as soon as I return to Hogwarts.  Is there anything else?"  Severus stood to leave and as his hand reached the doorknob, Albus spoke.  "She may be leaving us now, Severus, but there will come a time for you to be together."  He snorted, and left an old man to his vices.

~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~~******

Hermione stared out the window and was startled to hear the front door open.  She was contemplating a life changing decision and needed some advice.  Harry sat down his broom and then made his way into the parlor.  He grabbed a glass full of pumpkin juice before he noticed Hermione staring out the window.

"Harry, I have received a job offer."  She was direct and to the point.  She knew that Harry preferred being dealt with that way.  Harry made his way over to her and took the letter from her hand.  She had received the job offer earlier that morning, and was waiting for Harry to return from flying.

"Job offer, where?"  He knew Albus worked fast, but he was impressed.  It had only been three days since he had discussed her leaving him.

"The letter says that it is from an Apothecary in Lyon.  They are looking for an accomplished Potion's Assistant.  It says that I can get my license while working there.  They've even put me up in a house just on the outskirts of town."  Harry was happy for her.  A part of him missed her terribly already, but a larger part told him she would be safe and secure far away from the troubles in England.  

"When are they expecting you?"  Hermione swallowed.  

"Tomorrow afternoon."

"Wow, that's kind of sudden isn't it?"  Harry knew she would be leaving him, but he didn't know that it would be so soon.  Although he demanded that they get her out of there as soon as possible, he had hoped that they still were searching for the best place for her.  

"It says that the current assistant has taken ill and they are really running behind with their orders.  The salary is great.  It has benefits and I can stay in the home for as long as I am employed there, completely free of charge.  It's great isn't it?"  She was trying to sound convincing, but the dull tone of her voice gave her away.  She would rather stay here he knew it in his heart.  But, she couldn't.  She had to go far away as possible.  Even France was still within Apparition.  

"Hermione, cheer up.  It's wonderful you're going away.  You've always wanted to go to France and this sounds like the chance of a lifetime.  You can visit all those museums that you want to see, and the Eiffel Tower.  Don't forget about the sunbathing in the South of France.  It's wonderful.  I am so happy for you."

He hugged her tightly and she made her decision.  Harry wanted this, so she would go.  Deep in her heart she knew she wanted this too.  It was time she made a life for herself instead of waiting around to see what tragedy happened next.  For five years' she had seen the horrors of war.  She was tired of it.  She wanted to be happy and live life to the fullest.  "I guess I need to go pack, eh?"  He released her from the hug, and followed her up stairs.  Molly was cleaning the drapes in the hall and they told her what was happening.

"Oh, and it's such a shame that Ron and Ginny can't see you off.  I know they'll be disappointed.  They won't be back here to headquarters for another three days.  Charlie really has them working hard.  Aurors in training… not the best life… but a life just the same."  Molly had been reluctant to let Ginny follow Harry and Ron into auror training.  It was a lengthy process that took almost five years' to complete.  Ron and Harry would finish this Christmas, and Ginny still had a year to go.  She wanted more for her daughter, but she quickly realized she had a knack for charms and it took a lot to get her off of her feet.  Ginny had idolized Tonks and Molly encouraged her to watch over her.  Tonks was all too willing to oblige.  Ginny and Hermione had become the little sisters she never had.  She always protected them.

"Well, I'm going to finish packing.  Harry, do you mind if I use Hedwig for a few letters?  I need to write to Mr. Dillison and let him know that he'll need to find a replacement for me.  And I want to owl Severus."  

"Oi, you're not sending my owl to _him_ are you?  What if he gets confused and thinks that she's bringing something from me?  He's liable to incinerate her on the spot."  Harry grinned and Hermione realized he was teasing her.

"Grow up will you?  He's never been known to blow up owls."

"No, just bite the heads off of chickens."  

"Chickens, eh?  I thought it was snakes."  Harry and Hermione laughed at Molly's joke on Severus.  It wasn't often that she shared in their ridicule.  Hermione punched him playfully and they made their way into her room to start packing her things.  Molly laughed at them then went back to dusting the drapes.

~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~

_"Dear Severus,_

_I am writing to let you know that I have been offered a position in Lyon as a Potion's Assistant.  I am not sure how they heard of me, but I have an idea.  I will be able to take my licensing there and hopefully I'll get the title of Potions Mistress.   I want to thank you for teaching me everything I have learned.  I know that I am not the easiest pupil, nor the most talented, but I am very proud to be able to say that I studied under Severus Snape.  _

_I do hope that you will keep in touch with me.  I will be living at Villa de Isabel, just at the foot of Mont Blanc.  I hope it is as beautiful as it sounds.  I gather from what the letter states, that it is quite secluded and apparition is the only way in during the winter months.  This has always been a dream of mine and I want to thank you for it._

_I know you are much too modest to accept my gratitude, but perhaps I can repay you over dinner one evening, if you would be interested.  I will be looking forward to hearing from you, and please keep watch over Harry and Ron.  I know that a wizard's debt can be hard to follow, especially if the subject of your protection is as rambunctious and careless as Harry.  _

_In my heart I know he will not survive, just please make sure that if you're with him, you will do all that you can to ensure he endures as less pain as possible.  I have enjoyed working with you and I am glad that we've gotten to know each other better over these past few years.  You have shown me a side to you that very many do not get to see and I thank you for it.  Please keep in touch._

_Love,_

_Hermione_

Severus read and reread the letter several times before putting it into an old box on his desk. He sent his hasty reply with Hedwig who insisted on waiting.  He wanted to write so much more, to tell her more than he thought he ever could, but he didn't.  He couldn't take a chance on the letter being intercepted.  He sat down on the sofa and thought about the past week.   All that was asked of him was to write a letter to an old friend.  Albus never said anything about receiving a letter of gratitude from her.  He never said anything about Severus having to say good-bye to her.  And most of all, he never said that it would hurt his heart this much to let her go.  

"Farewell, Hermione."  With that said, he downed his drink, and donned his Death Eater mask.  He had a meeting to attend to, and heaven forbid him to be late.  


	3. Unwell, pt 1

**_"UNWELL"_**

****

**_But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell_**

**_I know right now you can't tell_**

**_But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see_**

**_A different side of me_**

**_I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired_**

**_I know right now you don't care_**

**_But soon enough you're gonna think of me_**

**_And how I used to be_**

****

**_I've been talking in my sleep_**

**_Pretty soon they'll come to get me_**

**_Yeah, they're taking me away_**

**_~ Lyrics by Matchbox Twenty_**

Six Weeks Later 

"Yes, my Lord."  Severus bowed his head and tried once more to convince Voldemort that Harry was indeed missing and that he should plan the attack in two weeks.  "Potter has been missing for three weeks now.  Even that old crackpot Dumbledore does not know where he is.  It's the perfect time to attack."

Severus could feel Voldemort trying to get into his mind to make sure he was telling the truth, but he fought it.  He could not let him see what he knew.  Harry was in hiding, working diligently everyday so that he could be prepared to ambush Voldemort.  Remus and Charlie were working with him almost as much as Albus.  Severus himself had dueling with him twice a week to make sure he kept the dark curses fresh in his mind.

"Attack in two weeks?  That does sound rather appropriate.  I tried to kill that brat once on Halloween, I shall succeed this time."  Severus thanked Merlin that he had been successful in convincing Voldemort that he needed to attack then.  However, it was not until Lucius stated that the streets would be filled with muggles celebrating that he was fully convinced.  

"Oh yes, and don't forget about the muggles.  There will be more deaths than we ever could have imagined."  But when he spoke again, Severus' heart dropped to his knees.  "Perhaps Potter is with that little Mudblood friend of his.  I hear they are quite close.  She's seemed to have disappeared as well."  Severus knew he had to think of some way to keep them from trying to find Harry and Hermione.

"I doubt that.  From what I understand, they had quite a row.  However, Albus keeps in contact with her.  But I do not know where she is."  Severus hoped they believed him.  He wanted Hermione safe, far away from Voldemort and especially Lucius.  He had a special way of torturing the muggles and muggleborns before killing them.  Severus cringed at the thought of him touching Hermione.

"You may go, Severus.  I shall call on you before the attack.  Do not be late."  Severus bowed, kissed the hem of Voldemort's robes, and apparated back into Diagon Alley.  He needed to get to Grimmauld Place immediately and let them know what had transpired.

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

Hermione arrived home shortly after seven.  She had been keeping late hours trying her hardest to prepare for the licensing tests.  She was excited that in a few weeks she would be a Potions Mistress.  In the six weeks that she'd been in France, she had managed to tour only one museum in Lyon.  She had been working six days a week and tried to get settled in on the seventh.  The home was gorgeous and she was pleasantly surprised to see that she didn't have houselves to watch over her.  There was a married couple that had taken care of the villa since they were in their early twenties.  They were well into their nineties now, but were still very capable of keeping everything nice and tidy.  

On her second night there, she did a bit of exploring and discovered that the villa had been in one wizarding family for two centuries.  The Laferriere Family was very old, pureblood wizards.  They had been in France for many centuries, but sadly, the last generation produced only witches.  There were no direct heirs to take over the estate.  Mr. And Mrs. Renoire had a home built closely to the villa so that they could watch over the estate.  Hermione had grown very fond of Lise just in the short time she had been there.  She was a wonderful cook and took very good care of Hermione.  

And on her birthday, they made her a cake and took turns singing to her.  She received one present from the Weasley's, a knitted blanket.  Molly had sent along a note telling her it was to keep her warm during the winter months.  And, much to her surprise, she received a box by muggle post from Severus.  It contained a few miscellaneous potions for emergency situations, and a potion journal to keep her studies in.  No note accompanied the present, but she knew it was from him.  She supposed she was not as forgotten as she had thought.

Hermione's room was on the second floor and had a beautiful veranda.  She immediately took a liking to having dinner on the veranda and watching the sunset.  Although she was keeping busy with work and decorating the house, she still had times she was lonely.  Like right now.  She missed Harry, but most of all she missed her conversations with Severus. 

Tonks was the only one that kept in touch with her.  They had been conversing several times a week since she left.  Every letter was vague as to what was happening in the war, but Hermione expected that.  She knew that they could not tell her about anything.  Nor could they try to write in code.  It could cost many people their lives if they were to be so careless.  

The owner of the Apothecary was very delightful and treated Hermione as if she were a complete equal.  That meant a lot to her.  His wife was a very pleasant witch as well.  They both made her feel very welcome and it really did not take much to adjust to the changes.

During the seventh week, Tonks came to stay and her visit unnerved Hermione a bit.  She was very happy to have someone from home visiting with her.  However, after she left, Hermione felt uneasy like something bad was going to happen.  Tonks had been very emotional the entire time she visited and Hermione just thought it was "her time".  However, as they said goodbye, Tonks began crying as if it would be the last time she ever saw her.

"You've been such a good friend to me.  I love you like a sister, Hermione."  She squeezed Hermione so tight that she could not breathe.

"I love you too, Tonks.  What is wrong with you?  I will be home in a few weeks when I can get away from work.  I want to see Harry and Ron."  Tonks released her and gave her a questioning look.  

"Only Harry and Ron?  Or is there a brooding, scowling old git that you would prefer to visit?"  Hermione was shocked that she could be so transparent.  If Tonks caught on to her feelings toward Severus, then everyone else must have as well.

"What do you mean?  Oh, Severus?  Well, perhaps I'll see him if he visits headquarters while I am there."  Tonks just nodded and hugged her one last time.  

"Hermione, when are you planning on visiting?"  

"The first week of November.  Tonks did the math and realized that Hermione would probably be visiting sooner than she thought.

"Oh, well, I'll keep in touch, eh?  And don't worry about all of us.  We'll be fine.  _Everyone_ will be fine."  

Tonks waved good-bye then apparated.  Hermione made her way back into her home, and up to her room.  There was a slight breeze blowing and it felt good to let it wash over her body.  There was an unmistakable chill in the air, and Hermione realized it meant trouble.  But she didn't know what.

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

"Potter, again.  Concentrate."  Severus was losing his patience with Harry.  They had been dueling for hours yet, Harry still refused to cast dark curses upon him.  "I can block them.  Now do it."  

"Alright.  Imperius!"  Severus felt Harry trying to penetrate his mind, but he blocked him.  "Crucio!"  He felt his legs go weak, and his body began to ache.  It only lasted a minute before he fully broke the curse.

"Very good.  Now give me something really nasty."  They carried on in this fashion for another half an hour.  Albus and Remus were watching them closely.  They needed to make sure Harry was prepared for the attack the following evening.  Severus had received word from Lucius that he was to apparate to The Leaky Cauldron and wait for him to arrive.  Then they would make their way into the streets of London and join up with their fellow Death Eaters, and Lord Voldemort.  

Severus could barely hide the smug smile he had when he realized that he would be the one to kill Lucius.  It had been his dream now for over twenty years to kill him. 

"I think that you are finally prepared Harry."  Albus announced from where he was watching.  "You will now be able to equally match him."  Harry walked over to the table and drank directly from the pitcher of water.  

"I want to have these last twenty-four hours alone."  Albus nodded.  He understood.  

"By all means.  I shall see you back here at dusk.  And Harry," he turned to him and waved his wand", your powers are now at their strongest".  Harry had learned that Albus had put a weakening spell on his powers until he knew he was ready to face Voldemort.  Harry could cause mass destruction with even the smallest Incendio charm, and they could not take the risk of him seriously harming someone or himself.

He left Grimmauld Place and made his way to Godric's Hollow.  He had to visit the cemetery where Lily and James were buried one last time.  He often spoke to them when he was there, and today was no different.

"Hello Mum, Dad."  He placed the wild Cornflowers upon Lily's tombstone and sat down in the grass.  "Well, tomorrow is the day.  I'm finally going to step up and take responsibility for the entire world."  He felt his throat tighten.

"You know, I've never truly been as afraid in my life as I am right now.  I thought Gryffindor's were supposed to be full of courage?  I have been waiting all my life to see your faces and I know that after tomorrow, we'll be together like we were meant to be."  He could hold back his tears no longer.  "I am prepared to die in that fight so that everyone else I love can go on living.  I think I have finally figured this whole thing out.  You died to protect me, and I love you so much for doing so.  Sirius died protecting me as well."  Harry wiped the tears off of his face.

" We were all meant to be together, just like a family.  It is meant for me to die.  That is why you all are gone.  So that we finally can be together like we were supposed to be.  Everyone else will survive, and live long happy lives.  Especially Hermione."  He had missed her so much since she left, but he did not dare contact her.  He did not want her to regret leaving.

"You know something, I thought I might ask her to marry me if I survived.  But I know I'll never get to.  I even went as far as buying a ring for her.  We haven't had a relationship other than that fling.  But I know that I could love her.  I've just kept myself from falling in love with her so that she may be happy after I am gone.  Believe it or not, but I think that Severus may be good for her.  I bet you're rolling over right now, eh Dad?"  

Harry chuckled to himself.  "Despite what you thought of him, he is a good man and is about as smart as her.  They could be good together.  That is if he doesn't die carrying out this wizard's debt of ours."  Harry stood to leave.  "I hope you don't mind me leaving now.  I'll be with you soon, I only pray that I am right in assuming that you'll be waiting there for me.  When I get to the other side."

Harry stood up and apparated to Gringott's.  He had to leave instructions as what to do with his money.  He signed the appropriate papers, and apparated to The Burrow.  He rummaged through the shed until he found what he was looking for then made his way inside.  Up in Ron's old room, he put the blank tape in the VCR and recorded his last words.  He wanted to make sure everyone knew how much he cherished what little time they had together.       

He sealed the envelope, and placed the appropriate address on it.  "Here girl."  He summoned Hedwig to him.  "Now, I want you to take this letter to Albus Dumbledore.  But do not deliver it for two days, okay?  She hooted her understanding, and nipped at his nose affectionately.  "You've been the best, Hedwig.  I will never forget you.  Be good to Hermione, okay?  She's always had a fondness for you."  Hedwig nipped him one more time before flying out into the night.  

The following morning, Harry gave into his heart.  He had to see Hermione one last time.  He knew where she was working.  He had memorized the name and address on the stationery when she showed him the job offer.  Apparating outside the shop, hidden beneath the invisibility cloak he saw her stocking shelves.  

She had cut her hair.  It was now much shorter and the fullness was gone.  It flowed around her face, and not for the first time he commented on how beautiful, she was.  He carefully made his way inside the Apothecary and crept over to her.  He wanted to touch her, to feel her skin just once more.  He knew he couldn't; yet, he still reached for her.  She turned in the opposite direction just as his fingers lightly touched the fabric of her robes.  She hadn't noticed.  He could smell her favorite perfume and it mesmerized him.

He stayed in the corner, watching her interact with the customers.  He smiled when she smiled, he nearly laughed when she laughed.  He would miss those things most of all.  He stood there for nearly two hours when he realized he couldn't stay there forever.  He had put off his destiny long enough.  While rummaging through the shed, he found one of her old S.P.E.W. badges.  He had brought it with him, and as he left, he placed it on the shelf where he was standing.  Blinking back a tear from his eye, he apparated home.  No one else would know what it the badge meant, but she would.  She would know he was there.  He found comfort in that thought. 

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

Harry spent the rest of the afternoon flying on his Firebolt, and reminiscing about his life.  He had been happy all throughout his years at Hogwarts.  He thought about the time when he met Ron on the Hogwarts' Express.  And when he tried to hex Malfoy and ended up burping up slugs.  He thought about how he had that brain attacking him in the Ministry of Magic.  Ron had always been there for him.  And then when they became friends with Hermione.  Yes, he thought, they'd had a wonderful life together.   Even though he had to endure very tough decisions, and was faced with many difficult tasks, it was still pleasurable.  He was proud of the man he had become.  He had no regrets and was determined he wouldn't let the predicted outcome of the attack ruin his day.  

He had one last place to visit before he left for headquarters, Sirius' monument.  After he had fallen through the veil, they had a very small memorial in his honor that summer.  The monument had been placed at Hogwarts, alongside every dead member of the Order.  Remus and Harry had designed the stone.  It was a large dog; it looked exactly as Sirius did in his Animagus form.  On the right side was a smaller stag, and on the other was a wolf.  Harry's form, a lion, was added after he left Hogwarts.  He was placed right in front of Sirius.  It looked as if the larger three were protecting the lion.  In reality, they were.   They knew Sirius would be proud to have his friends with him.  

Harry made his way through the rusty gate and banished the fallen leaves away from the tombstones.  He found his usual spot and sat down.  Again, he talked to Sirius as if he were still there with him. 

 "Hello Sirius.  Guess you know why I am here.  Today is the day.  I make my last stand.  It feels good, you know?"  

He looked up to the granite dog as if he expected it to nod.  "I am ready.  More ready that I'll ever be."  He paused for a moment.  "I miss you.  I sure wish you were there beside me.  I'd feel loads better.  Ron will be there.  He's always there for me.  Kind of like how you and Remus were.  I sent Hermione to France.  She's better off away from here."

Harry shuffled his feet while thinking about Hermione's future.  "Do you think she'll end up marrying Snape?  If she does, it's okay by me.  He'll take care of her.  That's for certain."  He talked a few minutes more about what had happened since the last time he had visited then said goodbye.  "Although, it's really not goodbye this time, is it?  I'll be seeing you.  Bet you and Dad have been having loads of fun.  I can't wait to see you."  Harry kissed his fingers than placed his hand upon the dog.  "See ya, Padfoot." 

As he left the graveyard, the sun was setting behind him.  It cast an eerie shadow upon the ground.  If anyone had been there, they would have sworn it was a ghost fluttering over the graves. 

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

"I'm here."  Harry closed the door and made his way into the drawing room.  The entire Order was assembled in there, waiting for him to arrive.  Well, everyone except for Hermione, and those they had already lost.  Lupin patted him on the shoulder. 

"We were just discussing everyone's objective.  You will need to find Severus as soon as you apparate into Diagon Alley.  It will be then that he kills Lucius and reveals himself as one of us."  Harry nodded.  He knew what was to happen next.  Albus would get Voldemort to him and then Harry would attack.  The room came to an uncomfortable silence, and Ginny couldn't stand it any longer.  She went to him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him softly on the lips.  Molly sobbed as she did so.    

"Harry, I want you to know that I love you.  You're like a brother to me and I…"

He stopped her before she could say any more.  "I don't want any of that, you understand me?  We all know what we have to do.  Let's just do it."  Everyone nodded.  They waited for a few more minutes before Severus' arm began to burn with pain.  Harry was the first to notice.

"The bastard has called you, hasn't he?"  

"It appears so."  

"Well, what are we waiting for?  Let's go."  Harry closed his eyes and apparated.  The Order watched the spot where he had stood moments before, then followed suit.  Only Molly remained behind.  She pulled her apron up to her eyes and cried.  She had loved him as much as her own flesh and blood.  She thought that someday, he might be her son-in-law.  But now she knew he never would.  She understood.  He had been left in her care for long enough.  It was time he returned to his parents, and to his beloved Sirius.       

 **Quick author's note:  Get out your tissues… This chapter was very difficult for me to write… Got teary-eyed a few times myself.  The next chapter should be up by Saturday.   Let me know what you all think.  And to everyone that has reviewed so far, Thank you.  I am glad to see that I still have some loyal readers out there.  **


	4. Unwell, pt 2

Unwell Part 2 

****

**_But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell_**

**_I know right now you can't tell_**

**_But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see_**

**_A different side of me_**

**_I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired_**

**_I know right now you don't care_**

**_But soon enough you're gonna think of me_**

**_And how I used to be_**

****

**_I've been talking in my sleep_**

**_Pretty soon they'll come to get me_**

**_Yeah, they're taking me away_**

_~ Lyrics by Matchbox Twenty_ Part 2 

Severus closed his eyes, wincing from the pain.  He had sustained quite a nasty hex to the head and he could barely see out of his left eye.  He held Harry close to him as he mumbled ancient healing charms as well as prayers.  Albus gripped his shoulder tightly, "It is of no use Severus.  Just make him comfortable."  The old wizard's robes were singed in several spots, and he had two identical cuts on each side of his face.

The ambush worked exactly as they had hoped.  Everyone played their part until it was Harry, Severus, Albus and Lord Voldemort left in the streets.  Several businesses would need to be rebuilt.  Quality Quidditch Supplies had sustained quite a bit of damage.  The windows in the Owlery had exploded with the force of one of Albus' spells and currently the occupants were escaping.  

The aurors had arrived and detained the very few Death Eaters that were still alive.  Remus and Tonks stood watch inside The Leaky Cauldron, prepared to attack anyone that wasn't on their side.  The Weasley boys managed to distract Lord Voldemort long enough to get him to follow them into The Leaky Cauldron.  They wanted to keep the attack out of the streets of London.  All it took was one failed _Avada Kedavra!_  from Ron and he followed.  However, that failed curse had cost Ron his life, and injured Charlie as well.  Ron's body now lay motionless across one of the tables, protected by his older brothers.  Ginny had gone with her father into London, prepared to attack any Death Easters that may come their way.

In all, it took less than an hour from the time the attack began until it was over.  Harry hadn't even known Ron was gone before he dueled for the last time.  It was spectacular.  Much like it was when they had dueled in the graveyard.  Only this time, Harry was much more prepared.  Sadly though, he hadn't fully realized what it meant when he killed Lord Voldemort.  

Harry had cast the killing curse, and it was magnified tenfold by his strong powers.  Lord Voldemort fell to the ground, clutching his throat.  Harry had then run a dagger straight through his heart.  Well, in the spot his heart would have been had he had one.  Albus quickly placed a charm on Lord Voldemort, making him unable to get away.  

As Lord Voldemort took his last breath, Harry felt his head go light and he fell to the ground clutching at his scar.  Severus fell to the ground as well.  His Dark Mark was fading and was slowly being replaced by freshly scarred flesh.  He cried out in pain, but none of his cries were as loud as Harry's.  Albus immediately went to his side, and tried to keep him from banging his head on the brick walk.  He gently placed Harry on his back and then cast a charm to take away Harry's pain.  However, nothing worked.  Blood flowed out of the scar and Harry's eyes lolled in his head.  

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

Hermione didn't mind working late.  It helped to pass the time away.  She had planned on going to Grimmauld Place in two weeks and wanted to get as much work done as possible.  She had been studying diligently for her tests and hoped to take the licensing exam before she left for her mini-holiday.  Tonight, she was dusting the shelves and doing a bit of rearranging before she left.  Glancing at the clock, she realized that it was nearly ten-thirty and she hadn't even noticed.  

The day had been horrible for her.  She had a sinking feeling in her stomach and didn't know why.  She made her way over to the far eastern corner of the shop and started rearranging the herbs and potions there.  She had almost finished when she knocked a can of pickled pig's eyes to the floor.  As she reached for it, she noticed a faded shiny badge glistening in the light.  She picked it up, and immediately began to cry.

She cried out into the night, and screamed out his name.  "Damn you Harry Potter!  How could you do this to me!"  She knew he had been there.  And by him coming to see her, yet keeping it unknown until now, she knew what happened.  It all made perfect sense.  Tonks' emotional state and her last words when she visited helped her come to her conclusion.  She quickly closed the shop and replaced the wards.  She had to get to Grimmauld Place as soon as possible.  She didn't care about apparating into the muggle street.  It could have been full of muggles and she still wouldn't have cared.  She had to get there.

Her mind raced with reasons for him coming to her.  Although she thought of a dozen, none seemed as plausible as the first one.  He had come to say goodbye.  She wondered how long he stood in that corner watching her work.  

She apparated into the street and ran toward the spot where she knew the house was.  She mumbled the phrase and the door appeared.  Hermione ran her wand down the length of the door and rushed in.  She just knew he'd be there waiting for her.  They all would.  Perhaps they were having a feast in celebration of the holiday.  She closed the door behind her and took no notice to the shrieks of Mrs. Black.  She ran into the drawing room and found Molly sitting in a chair, staring out the window into the moonless night.

"Molly, where is everyone?"  She still asked although she knew the answer.

"Hermione dear, what are you doing here?  You should be in France.  Safe and sound."  Hermione had had enough of everyone worrying about her protection.  She knew more hexes and curses than most of the aurors in the Ministry of Magic.  Yet, she had been sent away like a little child.

"I am here because I know that I am needed."  Molly looked at her wearily.

"Hermione love, you're too late.  I suppose they should be arriving right now.  I had the wireless on and heard them announce that Harry has once again defeated the Dark Lord."

If that was what happened, then Hermione couldn't understand why Molly looked so glum.  She should be celebrating the end of the war.  "Why aren't you celebrating then?  We should be with everyone."  

Molly put her face down and the tears began to fall.  "Hermione, they haven't said what the destruction was, or who was killed.  I am waiting for everyone to return.  Until then, I can't stop worrying."  Hermione felt sorry for Molly.  She had taken such good care of everyone in the Order.  They all must have seemed like her children.  She hugged Molly tightly to her chest and tried to quiet her tears.

"Shh… It will be okay.  You'll see.  Everyone will be back here in no time.  We'll have a big feast and celebrate the death of the Dark Lord."  Molly clung to Hermione as if she were her lifeline.  She tried to quiet her tears, but she couldn't.  She kept on crying until they heard the clink of the door.

Hermione released her and ran to see who was entering.  Most members of the Order were returning.  Fred and George looked like hell.  They broke into tears when they noticed Hermione staring at them. 

 "What happened?  Where's Harry, where's Ron?"  Her voice cracked as she questioned her best friends' whereabouts.  They wrapped their arms around Hermione in a hug and spoke words that seemed so foreign to them, yet they knew they would have to get used to saying them.  "Ron's dead."  George cried into her neck, Fred cried into her chest.  She began sobbing loudly and clung to Fred.  She couldn't believe that Ron was dead. 

The other members quietly moved around them into the drawing room and Arthur broke the news to his wife.  Molly cried out and fainted.  Ginny, Bill and Charlie went into the kitchen to heal Charlie's wounds.  Hermione and the twins cried into each other for a long time before Remus arrived with Tonks.  She had a fresh cast on her arm and a gash across the top of her chest.  Remus looked worse for wear as well.  His face was bruised on the right cheek, and Hermione could see burn marks on his wrist and arm.  

"What happened to you?"  The twins released her and went to their mother's side.  

"I had a nasty duel with Peter, and Tonks got caught in the crossfire."  Remus fell into the chair and Tonks began healing his burns.  They were made from Peter's silver hand, she was sure of it. 

"You'll need a potion to counteract the damage done by the silver."  Remus just nodded.  "I am sure Severus has one."  Then it hit her like a ton of bricks.  She was so upset over Ron that she hadn't even noticed that Harry, Albus, and Severus were missing.  "Where are they Remus?"  

He knew whom she was referring to.  He wanted to know the answer to that question himself.  "I don't know Hermione.  Albus sealed off the alley and no one was able to get in.  We saw the Dark Mark disappear from Lucius' dead body and knew that Harry had been successful."  

Hermione regained some composure.  She had to think clearly if she was going to apparate to Diagon Alley.  "I need to go there.  I have to see them."  Tonks grabbed her arm and pulled her back from the door.  

"You can't Hermione.  The place is crawling with aurors and MLE.  They will be here.  Just wait."  Hermione wasn't taking no for an answer.  She had to get to them.

"Let go of me Tonks.  I have to go."  Her voice roared throughout the house, and most everyone came to see what she was shouting about.

"Hermione, you can't.  Albus has sealed it off.  No one else can get in."  Remus sounded weaker than he had, and Hermione realized that it must be the effects of the silver.

"I don't give a damn!  I've already learned of one friends death.  I can't bear to wait around and see if they'll come home to me or not."  She sobbed loudly and everyone kept staring at her.  They knew she was in pain.  How could she not be?  

She stormed off to the kitchen, prepared to leave through the rear door.  All the while yelling at everyone to move out of her way.  "I've got to go.  I can't wait her any longer.  Harry needs me.  Severus needs me. She barged through the kitchen door, only to be blocked by a very determined redhead.   Get out of my way, Ginny."

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~~

Severus regained his composure and rushed to Harry's side.  He placed his head in his lap and began chanting the healing charms to try and save him.  As he looked into Harry's eyes, he knew his attempts were in vain.  Harry began to speak and his voice was very weak.

"Severus, he's inside of me.  Trying to get control of me.  I don't know how long I can fight him."  Severus kept repeating the charms and trying to revive Harry.  He thought that Harry was just delusional from the pain in his scar.

"No he's not.  Come on Potter fight this!  It is over.  You have won."  He waved his wand over Harry's body, immediately healing any broken bones that he had.  Severus didn't know if it was the blood from his eye clouding his vision or the tears he was fighting so hard to hold back.  

"Albus", Harry spoke quietly.  "We talked about this, you know?"  Albus went to his side.  He placed a ward on the street where no one could enter.  He didn't want anyone to see what was about to take place.

"Yes we did my boy. Yes we did."  Severus turned to him, a questioning look on his face.  "Tom has once possessed Harry's body before.  Harry fought him with love, but it doesn't seem to be working this time."  Harry just shook his head in agreement.

"I, I can see my mum and dad.  They're waving for me to come to them."  Severus felt the prickle of goose bumps upon his flesh.  If he was seeing his dead parents, then it wouldn't be long.  But he still kept hope alive.

"You're not going anywhere Potter.  Tell them to wait another hundred years.  Then you can go."  

Albus straightened out Harry's legs and touched his thumb to his forehead.  He could feel the evil trying to gain control of Harry.  "You must do it," he whispered.  Severus knew what Harry was begging for and he couldn't allow it.  "I can't stand the pain.  You have to finally let me go Albus.  Sirius is there too.  I have to go with them."  

Severus couldn't believe his ears.  Harry was begging for Albus to take his life.  "You can't do it, Albus!  There must be another way."  Severus' voice roared throughout the ruined street.  

"Yes you can."  Harry's voice was even quieter and Severus had to strain to hear him.  "You promised me."  Albus nodded and stood.  Then, what happened next surprised them both.

"Go on you old fool.  Kill the Golden Boy.  Or do you love him too much to waste his miserable life?"  It seemed that Harry had lost his internal battle.  Voldemort's cold, shrill voice rang out from within his body.  Severus cringed as he heard him.

"Go away Tom!"  Albus roared.  "You took away his parents, I now can give them back to him.  Yes, I admit, once before I gave you opportunity to escape.  But this time, I shall not."  Albus turned toward Severus, his eyes flashing with fire. 

"Heaven forgive me."  He wiped a single tear from his eye and shouted,  "Avada Kedavra."  The curse hit Harry squarely in the chest, and as the cries of Lord Voldemort vanished, Severus saw Harry's green eyes full of life for the last time.  He mouthed a thank-you to Severus, and the Boy Who Lived breathed no more, yet died with a smile upon his precious face.  

Severus bowed his head in defeat.  His mind was racing with mixed emotions.  He was thankful that it was completely, and without a doubt finally over.  However, his heart was broken in two because Harry was now gone.  He had sacrificed himself for the lives of everyone else.  Severus knew he could never be as selfless and as compassionate as Harry had been.  He was very proud that he had known him and despite all the turmoil he had to endure in his life, he never let it get him down.  It was a humbling thought.

"Come on my boy.  It is time to finish here and get everyone home."  Severus was reluctant to leave Harry's side.  He had so much he wanted to tell him.  He had so much left to say. 

"Just give me a moment, won't you?"  Albus nodded and began repairing the streets.  Severus gently placed Harry's head upon the street and placed his arms across his chest, his wand covering his heart.

Squatting down, Severus bent his head near Harry's ear and began to speak.  "I should be thanking you Harry.  You have given me a chance at a better life.  Thank you.  Please watch over Hermione.  I shall take excellent care of her.  I am determined to give her everything her heart desires.  That is if she will only let me.  And I hope that when I die, I'll be able to properly thank you.  Good-bye."  Severus wiped his face on his sleeve and then rose.

"Alright Albus.  I shall return to headquarters to inform everyone of what has happened.  Will you be coming back there tonight?"

Albus shook his head.  "Not tonight Severus.  I have something I have to take care of, and it is long overdue."  Severus left the street and apparated to Grimmauld Place.

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~~

"I said move it Ginny!"  Hermione's eyes flashed in anger.  All she wanted was to get the hell out of there and go to Harry and Severus' side.  Why couldn't anyone just let her go?

The youngest Weasley girl had heard her coming and stepped into her way.  "Hermione, you can't.  It's still not safe.  Not everyone was caught.  Draco is still out there.  And Flint."  She didn't care.  She could take both of them in her sleep.  

"Let me by Virginia Weasley!"  She was in a rage and no one could stop her.  She shoved by Ginny, and turned around just as Bill cast stupefy upon her.  She deflected it with barely a wave of her wand.  

"Bill Weasley, if you so much as try that ever again…" 

"Hermione."  It was barely audible, though it rang through her ears like a bass drum.  She turned toward the door and saw Severus standing there, robes torn, blood coming out of his eye, his bottom lip busted.

"Severus!"  She flung herself into his arms, not caring who saw her.  Not caring what he or anyone else thought.  Ginny and Bill made everyone leave the kitchen so that they could have some privacy.

Severus held onto her, thanking Merlin that she was safe and unharmed.  He inhaled her scent, and felt her breath against his neck.  She smelled so clean, so innocent, so untouched.  This was the closest they had ever been and he loved it.  Her hair was soft and sleek, her skin like velvet.  He tried to kiss the top of her head, but his swollen lip permitted him from doing so.

"I was so worried about you.  Are you badly hurt?"  She tried to release him and inspect his wounds more closely, but he wouldn't let her go.

"I am fine.  They are merely scratches."  He held her tighter, trying to figure out exactly how he was going to tell her that Harry had died.  "Hermione, I…"

She interrupted him before he could say another word.  "All I ask that if this has ended as badly as I think it has, please don't leave me alone tonight."  He held her closer for one more moment then stole some of her Gryffindor courage.

"Hermione, Harry is gone."  The words were spoken so quietly that no one other than they could have heard them.  She started with a little sniffling, then as the reality hit her, she fell to the ground, still clutching to Severus.  He cradled her in his lap, his hand smoothing up and down her back.

Her cries turned into shrieks and Remus entered the kitchen to get confirmation from Severus that Harry was indeed gone.  As Severus saw the door open, he merely nodded to Remus, who bowed his head and began to shed his own tears.  He closed the door, and made his way into the drawing room where the remaining members of the Order were waiting.

As he broke the news to them, Severus tried to get Hermione to calm down.  He himself hadn't known of Ron's demise and was saddened as Hermione sobbed that he had died too.  "You're all I have left."  She didn't realize that she had said that out loud, but when Severus stiffened, she knew she had.  

She tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let her.  "Hermione, you just surprised me.  That's all."  He looked into her red, swollen eyes and tried to calm her down once more.  "Look at me.  We have to go out there and confront everyone.  I am sure they all have questions.  However, they'll have to wait until Albus can answer them.  I am merely being a messenger and then I am going home."

He stood up and helped her stand beside him.  "You're going to Hogwarts?  But I thought that you said I could stay with you?"

"Hermione, Hogwarts isn't my only home.  You can come with me.  I promised you.  Just give me a few moments to talk to Remus and Moody.  Then we'll be off."

Hermione followed Severus into the drawing room, and she suspected that her face looked much like everyone's in there.  Molly was conscious now resting comfortably on the sofa.  Most of the men were indulging in the liquor, and Ginny and Tonks didn't mind helping themselves as well.  Although they had won the war, it had come at a high price.  They were drinking to remember the ones that died, not in celebration.

Severus spoke to Remus privately for a few moments, then Moody.  He didn't dare tell them exactly what happened, but they knew where Harry's remains were and that they were being well taken care of.  Hermione gripped Severus' hand tightly as they entered the floo and traveled into his home.  No one questioned her leaving with him.  They all had to grieve, and to each his own.

***********Quick Author's Note***********

This was the hardest chapter I've ever had to write.  Thought the first part was bad.  I literally cried more than once, and as I reread it to make one final edit, I cried the entire chapter.  Thanks to everyone that has been supporting me so far.  It's really great to read all your positive comments.

The next chapter, "Could I Just Be You" should be out by Tuesday evening.  Providing that school and real life do not get in the way…  It is finished, I just need to make a few minor adjustments.  Thanks again for you support….


	5. Soul

**_" Soul " _**

****

**_Hang out my window and over your head_**

**_Stare at your feelings to see where they end_**

**_You're waiting here for someone else to break you from the inside_**

**_You've been so composed_**

****

**_We all know there's always something tearing you apart_**

**_It's always so much longer than you counted on_**

**_And it hits you so much harder then you thought_**

**_But you don't worry, you don't worry_**

**_Cause you've got soul_**

**_                ~Lyrics by Matchbox Twenty_******

They tumbled out of the floo and into a large living room.  Severus' home appeared as if it hadn't ever been lived in.  Everything looked as if it had been in the same exact spot for years.  Hermione was still clinging to his robes, and he didn't mind.  Her crying had finally stopped and she started to calm.  He supposed the reality of Harry's death had finally sunk in.

They exited the floo and she took a more examining look around.  Severus noticed her curiosity.  "I survive with the barest necessities.  I have nothing of great importance here or anything that is incriminating.  Truth be known, there's hardly anything that would prove I am the owner."

Her heart nearly broke at the bitterness in his voice.  She could only imagine living a double life for so many years.  He was much stronger than anyone knew.

"It's lovely."  She winced as she heard the word escape her mouth.

Severus snorted.  "It's hardly lovely, Hermione."  He led her into a small kitchen and began brewing some tea.  They talked for a few moments then decided it was time for bed.  Severus was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to crawl into the inviting comfort of his sheets.  He had a lot to deal with when the sun rose, and just for tonight, he wanted to pretend the outside world didn't exist.  However, he forgot about the lack of a spare bed.  He hated company so when he built this house he didn't plan on ever having any.   It seemed he'd be sleeping on the sofa rather than his sheets.

He led her down a short hallway and turned right.  "Hermione, this is my room.  You may sleep in here tonight."  She was determined that he wouldn't be giving up his bed after the night he had.

"No, Severus.  You sleep in here.  The sofa appears very comfortable."  

"It's anything but.  You can sleep in here and I'll be fine.  Most nights I hardly even sleep."

"You are not giving up your bed.  That's final."  Severus noticed she was determined so he finally gave in. 

"If you insist, but still it would be…"

Hermione interrupted him.  "No.  The sofa will be fine.  Honestly.  The only thing I need is something to wear."  Severus went into his room and pulled out a soft flannel nightshirt.  He told her where the bathroom was, and then she went to clean up.  

Hermione shuddered at the reflection peering back at her.  The night's activities were clearly worn on her face.  Her eyes were puffy and swollen, her cheeks flushed.  As she stared at herself, the reality finally hit her.  She was alone now.  No Ron to bug her about Quidditch.  No Harry to protect her.  No Harry to make her feel alive.  It was just a world with no Harry.  Those thoughts brought back her tears and she cried silently for a few minutes in the bathroom.  Once she regained some composure, she wanted to thank Severus for allowing her to come with him.

She left the bathroom and made her way back to the living room.  She saw a faint light coming from his bedroom doorway and peered inside.  Severus sat in a side chair, naked from the waist up.  His boots and socks had been removed and all he wore were a pair of black trousers.  He dabbed a cotton ball into the liquid in the bowl, and pressed it firmly to his bruised ribs, then to his swollen eye.  He winced at the pain.  Green ooze seeped out from beneath the skin, and she swore she heard him mutter "bastard" beneath his breath.

He cleaned each wound thoroughly.  Hermione was mesmerized by the sight of him.  He was so unguarded, so human.  For the first time in her life, Severus Snape appeared tired and defeated.  She admired his lean frame with just a touch of muscle beneath the surface.  On his right pectoral muscle, he had a tattoo of what appeared to be the Slytherin crest, but she couldn't be sure from this distance.  His chest was covered in a very light dusting of hair, a dark trail made its way down to his navel and into his trousers.  She wished he wasn't wearing trousers.   There was a long scar across the right side of his ribcage.  She wondered where he had gotten it.  

As she watched him tend to his wounds, she realized she was checking him out.  And that she was also invading his privacy.  Yet, she couldn't turn away.  She had to watch him.  He stood, and as he unbuttoned the snap on his trousers, Hermione cleared her throat so that he would notice her.

"Oh, umm… I wanted to…"  She couldn't even speak.  "I wanted to thank you.  I am sorry to intrude."  Severus saw her blushed cheeks and realized that she had been caught watching him.  He was surprised that she didn't recoil in horror.

"It is okay, Hermione.  I should have shut the door."  He motioned for her to come in and set down on the bed.  "I apologize for giving you such a large shirt."  It hung down to her ankles and was a bit baggy.  Severus couldn't help notice the way it clung to her breasts, and he caught just a glimpse of cleavage through the v-neck.  He chastised himself for looking, but the more masculine side of him justified it as male lust.

"I am thankful that I didn't have to stay at Grimmauld Place.  I don't think I could bear the sympathy and pity from everyone, at least right now.  It just seems so unreal.  Like this is all a horrible dream and that I'll wake up, back in the safety of Villa de Isabel."

"Hermione, unfortunately it isn't a horrible dream.  It is reality.  Until now, you haven't had to deal with the death of loved ones.  But alas the war is over and everyone can begin a new life without the threat of Voldemort."  He walked over to the wardrobe and took out a pair of flannel pajama pants.  Hermione realized that he had left the button of his pants undone. 

"I understand.  I just can't imagine how I'll get through the services."  Severus regarded her with the dreaded sympathy that she had just spoke so ill of.  

"You shall, you are a Gryffindor, remember?"  She realized he was teasing her.

"Yes, and you are a Slytherin, so why are you showing me such hospitality?"

"Not every member is Slytherin to the core.  I have a few admirable qualities."  

"You have more than a few, Severus.  I daresay you have many traits of a Gryffindor."

"Such as?"  He couldn't understand why she was comparing the two.

"You are braver and far more courageous than any Gryffindor I know."  She stood up and kissed him softly on the cheek.  

He snorted in response, if anything else than just to break the awkward silence.  

"Don't you deny it."   He just nodded at her and made his way into the adjoining bathroom.  

"I must shower.  I'll only be a moment, then I'll get you a blanket and a pillow for the sofa."

"That is fine Severus."  Hermione sat back down onto the bed, and propped her head upon a pillow.  Her body felt it was finally time to sleep, so she curled up into a ball and let her dreams overcome her.  

Severus returned from showering to find her gently snoring.  He laughed at the sight.  It was endearing to his heart.  She had suffered so much tonight.  Of course, he had suffered more physical damage, but no one suffered as much internally as she had.  The two best friends of her life had died.  And she hadn't been able to do anything to stop it.  Fate was a fickle friend.  He realized that a long time ago.  But he also realized that which doesn't kill makes you stronger.  And he feared for anyone that crossed Hermione Granger's path.

Severus watched her for a few moments while he towel dried his hair.  She looked so innocent, so at peace.  He cringed to think of what the following day would be like for her.  He could only be there for her and tend to her every need.  He pulled the other side of the cover up to her chin, and resisted the urge to kiss her forehead gently.  She was asleep and he wasn't going to risk waking her up.

He took the other pillow and grabbed a blanket from the cupboard.  He flicked out the lamp, and quietly made his way to the sofa.  Sometime during the night, Hermione had awoken him, crying out for him.  Severus rushed to her side, and she clung to him.  He gave her a bit of dreamless sleep, and she pulled him into the warm bed with her.  He didn't object, just held her close to him.  His steady heartbeat lulled her back to sleep, and her gentle breathing carried him off into dreamland.  It may be the only time he would ever get to sleep within her warm embrace and he wasn't going to let the chance pass him by.

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

Albus contacted them during breakfast and informed them of the arrangements.  With Severus' permission, Hermione used his owl and sent word to Villa de Isabel to retrieve her formal dress robes, as well as her plain black dress.  Hermione dreaded entering the Great Hall.  

Harry had been placed upon a great altar, honoring him.  Albus had only invited the members of the Order, and their close families.  The press had no clue that Harry Potter had even died.  Albus would make sure his memorial service and his entombment were taken care of before the press heard a word about his death.  Molly and Arthur had decided on a private burial for Ron at their family cemetery.  His small service would take place the next evening.

They entered the castle, and soft soothing music rang throughout the halls.  The doors to the Great Hall had been warded closed by Albus.  He wanted to be sure everyone arrived and there weren't any uninvited guests before he unlocked them.  

Severus and Hermione made their way over to Remus and Tonks.  Hermione thought she looked very pretty with her black curls and her piercing blue eyes.  She was herself today just the way Harry liked her.  He was very fond of Tonks and she was fond of him.  After Sirius died, she was the only one that could really get through to him.  They spent the most part of that summer together.

Remus noticed them approaching, and hugged Hermione tightly to his chest.  He was so happy to see her so well composed.  She was very strong, there wasn't ever any doubt about that.  But everyone breaks, and he was thankful that today hadn't been her undoing.  

"I see you're healed now."  Hermione was thankful to see that the burns on his wrist and the cuts were healed.

"Yes, Tonks is a terrific healer.  And thanks for the potions Severus."  

"You're welcome."  Before Severus and Hermione had left Grimmauld Place, Severus told Remus where he could find a hidden store of potions prepared for dire occasions.  He kept them well hid at Grimmauld Place, and he had to tell Remus how to remove the wards as well as the location of the small room.

"Is everyone okay?"  Hermione motioned to the Weasley's.

"Molly is having a rough go.  But Arthur has given her a calming potion and she is much better now.  Charlie is pretty much healed, just has his arm in a sling.  He should be okay."

"That's good.  I want to apologize to everyone for the way I acted last night.  It was very wrong of me to scream in your faces.  I had no right."  Hermione blushed in embarrassment.

"Hermione, you had every right.  You had been deceived.  I am sure everyone will understand."  Remus smiled at her, and it relieved some of the tension. 

Severus looked up and noticed Albus coming.  Albus made his way down the staircase and to the small gathering of mourners.  Severus had never seen him look so distraught in all the years he had known him.  He wore pale grey robes, with no color or fancy design.  He wore a tight plait of silver hair down his back.  He looked almost dead himself, with no color to him at all, except just the slightest hint of pink beneath his eyes.

"I want to thank you all for coming.  It is with a very heavy heart that I have brought you all here today.  Harry has requested that no words be spoken about him.  He has prepared a short piece for me to read to you all.  I also request that several of you remain here after the service.  Harry has left something that I have been instructed to share with some of you."

Albus didn't wait for anyone to reply, he just turned toward the doors and removed the wards.  He opened them, and Hermione's heart began to race.  She didn't know if she was ready to see him.  She didn't know if she wanted to see him.  She couldn't imagine looking at his precious face and not see those piercing green eyes full of life and love.  She felt her eyes fill with tears, and Tonks pulled her close to her.

"Shh.. It's alright love."  Hermione just cried into her arms, completely unaware of the world around her.  One by one the mourners made their way to the altar and paid their respects for Harry.  Everyone had left the Great Hall, except for Albus and the four of them.  Severus gently tapped Hermione on the shoulder and she turned to him.

"Hermione, you need to say goodbye."  She didn't want to say goodbye.  

"I don't want to."  She wiped away her tears and peered up at the altar.  Harry had been dressed in his favorite pair of blue jeans, trainers, and t-shirt.  His glasses lay beside him along with his wand and Firebolt.  A solid gold, Gryffindor crest was placed behind him.  His body was surrounded by a makeshift bed of silken pillows.  

"Hermione, we're not asking you to say goodbye forever, just today.  He will always be within your heart and soul.  You are merely paying respect to his physical self.  The spirit is much harder to kill."  Albus wrapped her hand within his, and led her to the altar.  

She looked down at his lifeless form.  There was no indication that he died of anything but natural causes.  He looked so innocent, so young.  She silently cried and said a few tender words to him.  She bent over and placed a soft kiss to the very spot his scar used to be.  She whispered "I love you" softly into his ear and turned from him.  She realized that for the first time in his life, he finally looked at peace.  She'd never seen his face so calm, so relaxed.  Albus escorted her back to the doors as Severus, Tonks, and Remus finished saying goodbye.  Once everyone had exited the Hall, Albus warded the door again, and turned to everyone.

"It has been requested that several of you remain here to witness the reading of Harry's last will and testament.  Nymphadora, Remus, Molly and Arthur, Ginny, Severus and Hermione.  Please follow me to the Muggle Studies room."  No one could understand why they were going into the Muggle Studies room, but they followed.

Once everyone was inside and seated in the arrangement Albus had put them into, he went to the television and VCR.  He spoke not a word, just put the tape into the VCR and pressed the play button.  The tape began and it seemed like an eternity before Harry's face appeared.  Everyone recognized the background as Ron's room, and Molly began to sob very loudly once again.  Arthur tried to quiet her, but wasn't very successful.  

Molly may have been the only one to fall to pieces with the sight of Harry, but when he began to speak, there wasn't a dry eye in the room.  

"Well, I won't make this any harder on all of you than it already has been.  If you all are watching this, then my assumption was correct and I am finally with my mum and dad and Sirius.  I want to thank everyone of you for making my life worth living.  Some of my fondest memories are of the times spent at the Burrow and at Grimmauld Place.  And although I'll only admit it now, Potions class wasn't so bad either.  But, it couldn't hold a candle to Defense Against the Dark Arts with Remus as our teacher.  I swear I learned more in that one year than I did the entire other six years combined.  I may have had a rough start into this world, but I would never trade it for anything.  The Dursley's, as horrible as they were, made me appreciate life more, made me understand how to treat people with compassion and kindness.  If I learned anything from them, it was that.

I want to take a few minutes, now, to disperse of my belongings, and to thank each one of you as I give you your gift.  I'll start with you Ginny."  Ginny watched with anticipation.  She couldn't imagine what Harry would be leaving her.

"Ginny, you have grown into a beautiful young woman.  You're intelligent and you are famous for that Weasley temper.  I'll never forget the first time I saw you, standing on Platform 9 and ¾.  You looked so young, so innocent.  Then, you're first year to Hogwarts you were possessed by none other than Lord Voldemort.  You changed after that year.  You were more careful, stronger, and more determined.  No matter what happened, you never let it get you down.  And now, you're almost an Auror.  I want to leave you 1000 galleons, and all of the weapons I own.  Everything now belongs to you even the knife Sirius gave me.  Please, take good care of everything.  You were always like the sister I never had, and I love you."

"I love you too, Harry," Ginny cried.

"Next, Nymphadora."  Harry stuck out his tongue, knowing that she would protest him calling her by her given name.  "I know, I know, Tonks."  She smiled fondly at him.  "I don't know where to begin with you."  Everyone chuckled a bit.  "The first time I met you, I was marveling at your violet hair.  I had never met a Metamorphmagi before I met you, and even now, I don't know anyone quite like you.  You never let anyone get you down.  You were always there when I needed you, like in my fifth year.  You helped me through the roughest time in my life.  And the night I learned I was going to be taking Occlumency from Snape, you sure made me feel a whole lot better."  Harry began to blush on the screen, and Tonks did as well.

Remus just looked at her.  He couldn't believe that she had taken Harry's virginity.  "After that night, I was never insecure around girls again.  Thank you.  You saw me for Harry, and not for the scar I was cursed with.  I am leaving you 1000 galleons as well, and my beloved Firebolt.  Take good care of her."  Tonks started sniffling, and Remus pulled her close to him.  "You always were fond of her.  I know she's in good hands now. And, one last request, eh?"  

Tonks nodded.  "Anything Harry."  

"Take care of Remus.  He's all that's left now of the Marauder's and he'll need someone to take care of him.  I'm sure you won't mind.  Bye Tonks."  No one but Remus heard her quiet reply.

"See ya' Harry."

"Now, Molly and Arthur.  You have treated me as well as you ever did any of your own children.  I am very thankful for all that you have done for me throughout the years.  I felt like the Weasley's were my family.  Thank you for that.  I am leaving you 25,000 galleons, my share in the 3W's, and all my muggle belongings.  I am sure Arthur will have fun tinkering around on them.  Please take care of everyone the way you have been.  I will miss you very much."

Molly couldn't believe her ears.  "25,000 galleons?  Is he out of his mind?"  

"Molly, I believe he is trying to repay you for all that you've done for him."  Albus pressed the fast forward button on the tape.  "That part was for Ron.  I was instructed to pass through it if he wasn't present.  I am sorry Molly." 

When the tape stopped, Harry began speaking to Severus.  "Professor Snape, or shall I finally call you Severus?  You have always been there, watching over me like a hawk.  Whenever I was causing mischief, usually you were there to catch me right in the middle of it.  You have taken good care of me, and you have more patience than anyone I know.  I am glad we worked through our problems and were able to help each other.  You have repaid your wizard's debt to my father many, many times.  Please take care of yourself.  And finally live your life for you.  You've spent far too many years hiding behind the safety of those castle walls.  Travel, see the world, get pissed.  Get laid." 

 The entire room erupted into laughter, except for Severus.  He just scowled at Harry's crude remark.  "I am leaving you 25,000 galleons under one condition.  You are to take a year hiatus, and return to your family home.  Then, after you've lived there for six months, you may have your money.  Albus will give it to you.  There is one other thing.  You are now in possession of something, or shall I say someone, that meant more to me than life, obviously.  Never let harm befall her.  Take good care of her, if she lets you.  I am also leaving you my invisibility cloak and the Marauder's Map.  I know how you love them both so much."  

Severus just nodded.  He didn't want any of those things.  He never wanted anything of Harry's.  He would never get the galleons.  Severus could never leave Hogwarts. 

"Now, Remus.  I am not sure how to say this eloquently, so I'll just say it in my own terms.  When I met you in my third year, and after I learned of your relationship with my parents, I felt closer to them just by knowing you.  When you saved me from the Dursley's in my fifth year, I can't describe the happiness I felt in my heart knowing you were there to help guide me to safety.  You taught me a lot about prejudices and how to fight injustice.  Thank you.  After Sirius died, you took over the responsibilities of me and did a terrific job.  Thank you again.  I am leaving you 50,000 galleons, the properties I own, and all of the furnishings within.  Now you can start that family you've always dreamed of.  And you can buy all the books you ever wished for.  Take care.  I love you so much."  Harry was crying on the screen, and it nearly broke everyone's heart. 

Remus sat there, dumbfounded.  For the first time in his life, he wouldn't have to want for anything.  And it was all thanks to Harry.  Lily and James would have been so proud of him.  "Thank you, Harry.  I'll miss you."  

Hermione found it hard to breathe when she realized that it was her turn.  She turned her head away from the screen, afraid she'd break down once more if she looked at his face.  "Hermione, look at me."  She wasn't surprised at all that he knew she'd not be looking at him.  He knew her better than she knew herself sometimes.  She turned her head and peered into his green eyes.

"Hermione, I guess you're wondering what I have left you.  Well, as easy as it was to decide on what to leave everyone else, it was just as hard to decide what I wanted you to have.  I never considered marriage or a family, except when I was in your arms.  You made me feel so alive, so happy.  Even though we both knew our little arrangement was something more than a casual fling, we kept telling ourselves over and over that it wasn't.  It was easier to deal with our lives that way.  I hope you have been happy in France.  You deserve the world.  I purchased something in Diagon Alley today.  It was an engagement ring."  Hermione's breath hitched in her throat.

"I know, I know.  It was silly, considering that I knew I would never get to ask you, or place it on your finger.  But still, it made me feel like I did something to prove to you how much you really meant to me.  I want you to take it, not as a symbol of your undying love for me, but as a symbol of my undying love for you.  Even in death I will still love you.  So, I am leaving you my heart.  You have had it since our first time together, and you always will."  Hermione was sobbing loudly, and Severus could barely contain her.

"Why did you do this Harry?  Why?" 

"I love you, Mione."

"Oh, Harry."  Her mind was racing with a million things.  She couldn't believe he had bought her an engagement ring.

"Now, there are a few more things I have left you.  All the money that is left in my Gringott's vault, I'm not sure exactly how much it is, and my wand. Now, last but not least, I am leaving you a little something to remember me by.  I am sure you will take great care of it.  I love you Hermione, never forget that.  But please, live your life to its fullest.  Get married, have a gaggle of kids, and die a very old, very happy witch.  I'll see you again.  Take care love."  

The videotape went black, and they all realized it was over.  No one could figure out what other gift Harry had left her.  Albus interrupted the calm silence.  

"Thank you all for staying.  I shall be entombing his remains this evening.  Harry has requested that no one be present other than myself.  Let us try to honor his wishes.  Each of your gifts were delivered to you by owl.  However, I have your things Hermione; the key to Harry's vault, his wand, and the ring.  The other item is not in my possession.  I shall send them with Dobby to Severus' private rooms.  Now, if you all will excuse me."  Albus ushered them out of the room, and everyone adjourned to Severus' chambers.  

Everyone stayed for a few moments, drank a toast to Harry and then left.  Hermione was the only one remaining with Severus when Albus sent her things.  She hesitated, but pulled the ring out of the box.  It was a stunning square cut Emerald.  It wasn't adorned with fancy engravings or dazzling diamonds.  It was just a plain Emerald.  The stone was captivating.

"May I?"  Severus asked her if he could examine it.

"Of course Severus."  She let him take the ring, and he admired the high quality of the stone.  He knew that it had to cost Harry a small fortune.  He wouldn't have expected anything less.  Hermione held out her finger for Severus to place the ring on.  It was the right ring finger.  She could never wear it on her left, but the right one would be perfect.  Severus slid the ring onto her finger, and she began to cry once again.

"It's hard to believe I have any tears left."  He handed her a tissue, and poured himself another glass of Scotch.  

"It will get easier, I promise."  Severus sat down beside her on the sofa, and she placed her head in his lap.  He gently ran his fingers through her hair.  She was asleep in a few minutes.  He carefully slid out from beneath her, and gently picked her up.  He carried her into his room and placed her down upon his bed.  She needed a brief nap.

While Hermione slept, Severus sat in the drawing room, contemplating Harry's gift to him.  Harry knew damn well what he was doing by stating that he had to return to his family home.  He was still meddling in Severus' private affairs.  The boy had never learned to mind his own business.

Severus really could use the money for research, but he couldn't return home.  Someone was living there now, and Harry knew that.  How could Severus break the news to Hermione that he would have to become her roommate in order to collect on his inheritance?"

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

A/N:  Sorry for the delay.  Was it worth it?  I haven't had too much free time lately. Been really busy with school.  Hopefully the next chapter will be out by Friday.  I apologize to anyone that hates me for killing off Harry.  It had to happen this way.  And, by the way; the Harry/Tonks smutlet is in the works.  I accidentally deleted it after I had it written, so…  Hope you enjoyed this chapter.  Was the saddest thing I've ever written.  Didn't know I had it in me…


	6. Feel

**_"FEEL"_**

**_What you want, what you got _**

**_Live your life in a crawl space_**

**_I'll help you out but you don't want a chance at a better life_**

**_You said you never took a ride and now you wanna play_**

**_Well, it's a big, big city let me show you around some time_**

**_Oh, some time_**

****

****

**_And now you crossed that line_**

**_You can't come back_**

**_Tell me how does it feel now_**

**_It's too late too much to forget about_**

**_Can't stop now_**

**How does it feel now**

**_I'm only asking because I wanna know_**

How...you...wanna...feel 

**            _~Lyrics by Matchbox Twenty_**

Hermione attended Ron's memorial alone.   It was quiet, and afterwards, she bunked with Ginny at Fred and George's.   She was determined to return to France the following afternoon.  In her opinion, the sooner her life got back to normal, the easier it would be to deal with their deaths.  

After a quick visit to Gringott's, she returned to Hogwarts to collect her belongings, and accidentally interrupted a heated discussion between Albus and Severus.   She hadn't heard exactly what they were saying, but she could see the fury within Severus' eyes.  He was far from pleased.  Albus bid her farewell, and left the two of them alone in his office.

"Are you okay?"  Hermione could see plainly that he wasn't, but she didn't know what else to say.

Severus tried to hide his anger, but he failed miserably.  "Does it appear that everything is okay?"  His voice was cold and rigid, just like it used to be when she was his student.

"Actually?  You look as if you just found out that you are the new head of Gryffindor."  She giggled, and it only infuriated him even more.

"Is there some reason you're still here?  I thought you were returning to France today."  He didn't wait for a reply, just walked into his private rooms, Hermione following right behind him.

"I am.  I came for my things, and I thought I should at least say good-bye."  Hermione couldn't believe the way he was acting.  He was trying to remain calm, but she could see he was very close to the breaking point.  She wondered what they had been discussing, so, she just asked him.  "Why are you so furious?"

"I don't really think that is any of your business."  He pulled off his robes and slammed them down onto the sofa. He plopped down onto the sofa and began to massage his temples.  He could feel a migraine coming on.  And it was all Albus' fault.  Well, Potter had a bit of blame in this as well.  All he wanted was to remain at Hogwarts, in his familiar rooms.  He wanted to keep his dull, mundane life.  He had everything in order there.  He had everything he wanted and needed there.  Except, that wasn't entirely the truth.  He needed and wanted Hermione, however she was living in France now.  Yes, oh yes, Potter knew exactly what he was doing by offering him that inheritance.  

"Well, I do have something to tell you, and then I'll be out of your way.  You should really consider Harry's offer.  There is a world outside of Hogwarts, you know.  You've been here for over twenty years.  Teaching students that you can barely stand the sight of.  Running errands and spying for Albus.  You should take responsibility for your own life now and begin to live it."  Severus watched her, and he could see her genuine concern.  She was right, but he didn't want to admit it to her.

"You shouldn't put your nose where it doesn't belong."  He put his hands back up to his temples, and let his head fall back against the sofa.

"Well, far be it for me to care about _you_."  She was so upset by the way he was treating her.  She blinked back her tears, and went straightaway to packing her things.  She wanted to be far, far away from London and most of all, far away from Severus Snape.

Severus felt bad for the way he was acting.  He hadn't been this mean to her since she was his student.  But, yet, he still couldn't bring himself to tell her about his disagreement with Albus.  It involved her more than he would ever admit.  He still hadn't told her she was living in his home, and he preferred to keep it that way for as long as he could.

She retrieved her belongings and tried to get him to talk to her once more before she left.  She had no idea when she would be returning to Hogwarts and to London.  Her life was made for her in France now, and she really didn't want to leave it.  

"Well, I've gotten my things.  I'm leaving now.  I don't know when you'll see me again.  I'll keep in touch.  If I can find the time."  She didn't wait for a reply, she feared she would break down if she heard another scathing remark from him.  She marched right past him and was almost to the door when he stopped her.

"Hermione, wait."  She didn't turn, just kept her face to the door.  She just wanted to leave, but she couldn't resist the hidden plea within his voice.

"What is it?  You obviously don't have anything more to discuss with me.  I must be going now."  Severus couldn't put into words what he was feeling.  He and Albus had been arguing about him trying to force Severus to take a leave of absence from teaching. He didn't want to leave, but Albus was forcing the issue.

Severus would have to return to Villa de Isabel in order to get his inheritance from Harry, and he didn't want to put Hermione in that position.  He wanted her to remain completely unaware of the fact that she was living in his home.  He had no use for it.  She was comfortable there, and very safe.  He was happy that she could find peace there.  He never had been able to do so.  Yet, she was leaving him, and he knew that if he left her leave without telling her goodbye or trying to talk to her, she would have a hard time forgiving him. If she even could.  

He walked over to her and stood behind her.  She dropped her bag and waited for him to say something.  The silence was maddening for her.  She could feel the heat radiating off of his body.  He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, and with that simple, innocent touch, Severus Snape lost all control.  He dipped his head towards her neck and let her extraordinary scent enthrall his senses.  Without speaking a word, he tilted her head back, exposing her bare neck to him.  He cautiously pressed his lips to the soft tender skin just beneath her earlobe.  Merlin she tasted so sweet.

She didn't protest, just relaxed into the warmth of his embrace.  He slowly kissed his way around to the front of her neck, then, with a quick glance to her lust filled eyes, he kissed her mouth.  It was unlike anything he had ever experienced before.  She was so warm, and her lips were like kissing silk. She felt loved within his arms and it was a terrific feeling.

Severus turned her body toward him, and wrapped his arms around her neck. After a few minutes of frantic kisses, he pulled his lips from hers, and tried to think of a reason that they should stop right now.  He couldn't find one.  He wanted her, he had for a very long time.  And now, she was standing right in front of him, her lips swollen from his kiss, her eyes full of lust and her cheeks flushed.  She obviously wanted him too.  And, he knew in that instant that he was going to have her.  All she had to do was give him some sort of an indication that she wanted to go further, and he would make love to her like none other.

"Hermione, if you do not want me to make love to you right now, I suggest you leave this instant."  His voice was deep, filled with desire.  

"Severus, if you do not make love to me, I will never speak to you again."  She pulled his head down for another searing kiss, and when they finished, Severus carried her off to bed.

While they made love, she realized that there had been something missing when she and Harry had been together.  She knew now that it was passion, intensity.  The kind of passion that has you addicted with just the first taste.  

Severus never dreamed that the reality of his fantasies could be even better.  No one would ever believe how gentle, how tender he was.  

He rolled to her side, pulling her to his chest.  "Hermione, do you have any idea what you do to me?"

She slightly giggled, "An inkling, perhaps."  She snuggled deeper into the warmth of his embrace.  He didn't protest, just pulled her closer to him.  They drifted off for about an hour, until Severus' bladder could wait no longer. He gently shook her until her brown eyes fluttered open.

"I have to go to the loo, roll over.  I'll be right back."  He kissed her forehead gently, then made his way through his rooms to the bathroom.  While he was away, she fully woke and realized that it must be late in the day.  She could delay her return to France no longer.  She summoned her clothing and began dressing.  She had slid on her panties and was fastening her bra just as he entered.    She could see the disappointment within his eyes.

"You know Hermione, there really is no reason for you to go."  They had just made love for the first time less than three hours ago. Yet, the thought of her leaving already brought a void into his heart.  She watched him closely as she finished dressing.

"I have to go, Severus.  I have made a good life in France.  I enjoy working, and I still need to take my licensing.  The home I am living in is gorgeous, and I really feel at peace there."

She pulled on her boots, and he pulled on a robe.  "When will you come home?"  His voice sounded weak and defeated.  

"Severus, I have a home.  I doubt I'll ever call England home again."  

"So this was it, eh?"  He was angry now.  Angry that she was leaving him behind.

"Severus, no this wasn't it.  But if you want to be with me, you'll have to leave this security blanket of yours far behind."  She motioned to the dungeon walls.

"I can't do that."  His voice rose.  "I can't."

She couldn't understand why he felt compelled to stay here.  He could do anything, go anywhere now without threats.  Yet, he still wanted to hide behind the dungeon walls.

"Severus, I do not want to fight with you.  I have told you that I cannot stay here.  You are welcome to see me whenever you choose.  You know where to find me."  She wasn't going to argue with him.  She wanted this day to be memorable as a result of their love making, not because of an argument that they had.

She made her way out to the sitting room, and finished gathering the rest of her belongings.  "Severus, please don't make the mistake of living the rest of your life behind these walls.  You are too precious to me.  I refuse to watch you waste away the rest of your life."  She gently kissed his lips.

"I don't know how to live outside of Hogwarts, Hermione."  He felt compelled to tell her the truth.  He was afraid of how the rest of the world would see him.  At Hogwarts, in Hogsmeade and even in Diagon Alley everyone knew who he was.  He didn't like meeting new people.

"You don't know because you've never tried.  Please consider this.  Our relationship will not work if you are living here in London.  Even though we can apparate, it is difficult to go such a distance several times a day."

"So, basically, if I don't leave Hogwarts, then this was a one time thing."  Hermione couldn't believe how horrible it sounded, but she wanted him to know how much it meant to her that he left.  

"I guess so, Severus."  She didn't want to lose him so quickly, but she couldn't come back to a life that she didn't want to live.

He stood up, to his full height and uttered words that he would regret for a very long time.  "Well, Hermione, I must wish you the best of luck in your _new_ life."  
  


He strode over to the door, and opened it for her.  She knew she deserved to be treated this way.  

  
"Good-bye Severus.  Whenever you decide to live life, instead of just existing, please find me.  I'll be enjoying a life full of freedom and happiness, away from this constant reminder of death."  

She left his dungeons, and exited Hogwarts.  Not once did she turn around.  She had to make him see that he belonged outside of Hogwarts, even if every step away from him broke her heart even more.  

A/N:  The next chapter should be out by Tuesday.  If you want me to notify you when I update, then add your email address to the review and I will send you the updated link.  Hope everyone liked this.  The juicy version can be found on Adultfanfiction.net.  


	7. The Difference

"THE DIFFERENCE" You could hear her name when she was warm and tender And you held her arms around you There was nothing but her love and affection She was crazy for you Now she's part of something that you lost Yeah, for all you know This could be The difference between what you need And what you want to be Night swimming in her diamond dress Making small circles move across the surface Stand watching from the steady shore Feeling wide open and waiting for Something warm and tender Now she's moving further from you There was nothing that could make it easy on you Every step you take reminds you that she's walking wrong Yeah, for all you know This could be The difference between what you need And what you want Every word you never said Echoes down your empty hallway And everything that was your world Just came down Day breaking on the boulevard Feel the sun warming up your second hand heart Light swimming right across your face And you think maybe someday, yeah Maybe someday ~Lyrics by Matchbox Twenty THIS IS A REPOST ----- FIXED AN ERROR WITH THE END OF THE CHAPTER Albus Dumbledore sat in his office, listening once again to the outraged voices of his Professors. They all were furious with the way Severus had been treating their students. Ever since Hermione had left, he had been in an even fouler mood and treated each student horribly. Minerva had just finished counseling yet another first year that had come to her, sobbing uncontrollably. "Please, please. One at a time. Minerva, what has he done now?" Albus knew that he would have to speak to Severus. He was lashing out his anger and depression against innocent bystanders. It had gone on too long. It was nearly time for the Christmas break. Perhaps he could convince Severus to go and visit with Hermione during the break. "Miss Appleton came to me crying uncontrollably. I had to give her a calming potion. It appears that Severus gave her detention for dripping ink from her quill onto the worktable. Can you believe this?" Yes, Albus could. Nothing about Severus surprised him anymore. "Filius?" "Well Sir, he was yelling so loudly in the corridor that I heard him in my classroom. There were several seventh year Ravenclaw boys in his way. He threatened to hex each one if they didn't move immediately." "Professor Sprout?" "He sent three Slytherin students into my Greenhouse to retrieve ingredients for potions. Unfortunately, they were not very careful and managed to get injured by the nettles from one of the plants. He knows that those can only be gathered by wearing Dragon hide gloves. Those poor students have boils on their hands. And I have ruined plants." Albus wished he could tell the Professors that it would get easier, but he knew it wouldn't. "I will speak with him." "Albus, hasn't he even considered Harry's request?" Minerva wanted for Severus to become happy. He had become a surrogate son to her over the years that he had been at Hogwarts. "Have they had any contact?" "I am afraid not Minerva. Whenever I approach the subject, he turns rigid and cold. He will not discuss anything with me. I do know that she gave him an ultimatum at least that is what Remus has told me. She told him to leave Hogwarts if he wanted to be with her. He was too afraid." "Severus, afraid?" Professor Sprout let out a hardy laugh. "The man that betrayed Voldemort has discovered he is afraid of love?" "It appears so, I am afraid. I will speak with him as soon as he is finished with today's classes. Perhaps I can convince him to visit her during the holiday break, but I am not hopeful." They left Albus' office just as a tawny brown owl entered, an envelope tied to her claw. Albus recognized the handwriting immediately. He was hesitant as he opened the envelope. "Albus, I have received the final gift. Thank you.  
Hermione" The entire letter was one line, but those words spoke volumes. They held the key to Hermione's future, and it would be up to Severus Snape to decide if he wanted to be a part of it. Albus penned a quick reply, wishing her the best of luck. With the arrival of that letter, Albus came to an abrupt decision. As the owl flew out of sight, Albus made his way to the dungeons. He had to see a Potion's Master about his termination. ~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~~ "You are what?" Severus' voice boomed throughout the dungeon classroom. "I am letting you go." Albus was calm and collected. He would make Severus realize that this was best for him. "You can't fire me. On what grounds am I being terminated?" "I feel that you have lost the ability to effectively teach the students. You take your anger and frustration out on them each day. It is not fair for them. And, it is not fair to make you stay if you do not want to be here." "I do want to be here." Although he spoke those words, Albus could tell Severus' heart wasn't in agreement with them. "Perhaps you do, perhaps you don't. But, as of right now, you no longer have a choice in the matter. You will finish out this term, and after the Christmas break, you will be replaced." Albus stood, indicating the conversation was over. "And what am I expected to do? I can't stay here, the Governors won't allow that." "No you cannot. It seems to me that you need to return home to collect on your inheritance, now that you need a place to live and money to survive." "I have money. I can rent a flat somewhere. I WILL NOT return to France. I cannot." Albus patted Severus on the shoulder. "Yes you can, all you need to do is put the past behind you and live for the future. I daresay that Miss Granger may be needing some support and companionship in the upcoming months." With no more explanation than that, Albus left Severus to ponder his thoughts. ~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~ "Hermione busied herself over the next few months. During the first week of December, she began feeling rather ill and went to a mediwitch. It seemed that Harry had left her more than a little present. She found out that she was expecting a child in early June. Since it had been in November when she and Severus made love, there was no way he could be the father of her child. After the initial shock wore off, Hermione became ecstatic about becoming a mother. She had written to Tonks and told her of the baby, but swore her and Remus to secrecy. She didn't want to take any chances with anyone hurting her or her baby. And, she didn't want to deal with the complications that Severus could cause right now. She hadn't heard a word from him since she left him that afternoon, and although she was saddened by it, she knew that she made the right decision. If Severus wanted to be with her, he would come for her. It was that simple. She had decided to return to Grimmauld Place during the Christmas Hols. It would be the last time she could visit before she began showing signs of her pregnancy. Tonks and Remus were true to their word and never told anyone. However, during her visit, Molly said that Hermione looked changed somehow. She couldn't pinpoint the change, thank Merlin. She just told Hermione that France was agreeing with her. She had gained about ten pounds and her face looked a bit fuller. Other than that, she could hide her pregnancy with a baggy jumper and loose fitting jeans. She tried to avoid a private conversation with Tonks and Remus, but on her last night there, the inevitable happened. She had just fixed herself a cup of warm tea and was heading up to bed when they ambushed her. Remus led her into their room and placed wards on the door. Remus was the first to question her. "Okay Hermione, you have avoided us long enough. Tell us what's going on." She sat down in a chair by the window and told them all that she knew. "I began feeling ill in December. I hadn't had my, well you know." Hermione blushed. "But that isn't uncommon when dealing with stressful situations." Tonks nodded in agreement, and Remus just shrugged. "Well, anyway. She told me that I was pregnant but she had to run a few more tests to confirm when I got pregnant. At first, I thought I had gotten pregnant when Severus and I." "You and Severus slept together?" Two identical voices boomed throughout the room. "Will you keep it down? Yes, we slept together. The day I left to go home. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced before in my entire life." Hermione's cheeks flushed once again at remembering the passion they had shared. "Anyway, you know we had an argument that day." They both nodded in agreement. "Okay, well, like I said, at first I thought I was pregnant with Severus' child. I was a little apprehensive about it until the witch returned and informed me that I became pregnant in September. When I realized that I was carrying Harry's child, I became ecstatic. I finally realized what the last gift was that Harry had given me, a child; created from our love for each other. We almost always used protection, but he always performed the charm. The last night we were together, something had startled us and he didn't perform the charm. I wasn't really concerned. We had forgotten the charm several times before and never got pregnant. So I forgot about it. Boy, was I wrong." Hermione smiled. She truly was happy that she was carrying Harry's child. "So it appears that there is yet another Potter that will need protecting, eh?" Remus hugged her tightly. "I will be there for you and this child. As long as I am still alive." Hermione should have hugged him tightly, but she couldn't. Remus' words rang throughout her mind. "Another Potter needs protecting." "Oh, Merlin. Please tell me that a wizard's debt isn't transferable." Hermione knew it was though. That was how Severus had become Harry's protector. By James saving his life, he was indebted to Harry after James died. "What's going on?" Tonks didn't understand, but Remus did. And he knew Hermione would not be able to hide this child from Severus much longer. "Tonks, Severus was indebted to James for saving his life the night Sirius played the trick on him that nearly got him killed. When James died, Severus became Harry's protector. Now that Harry is gone, that debt is transferred to his child. A wizard's debt is binding until the debtor dies." "So once Severus finds out about you being pregnant, he'll either think you are pregnant with his child, or he will assume the role as the protector once again?" Remus and Hermione nodded. "You'll have to let him into your life now, Hermione." "I know that, and I want him in my life. If he could only leave Hogwarts then we could be together. Just because I am pregnant with Harry's child doesn't mean that I do not want to be with Severus. If he could accept me and my child, I think that we could live a happy life together." Tonks looked at Remus and he nodded. "Hermione, there is something we need to tell you. Severus is leaving Hogwarts. Albus has forced him." "Albus made him take a hiatus?" Remus frowned, and shook his head. "He fired him?" Now she was the one being loud. Hermione couldn't believe what she was hearing. She never dreamed in a million years that Albus would fire Severus. "I don't believe it." "Yes, Remus is going to be accepting the Potion's position until the end of the year. After that, he can decide if he wants to stay on or not." "Congratulations, Remus. I am sure the students will be happy that you are teaching them." She hugged him. "I wonder where he will go?" Hermione was in shock. She wondered what would happen to Severus. She wondered how long it would take him to come and see her, if he ever did. "I don't know. But, once he learns of your pregnancy, you'll have to deal with him." Tonks gave her a reassuring smile. "I know, I know." ~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~~ Hermione was bustling around the shop, grabbing ingredients from here and there. It was early February now and the shop was in its busiest season. She had taken her licensing and now bore the title of Potion's Mistress, Hermione Granger. Once she had passed her tests, Philippe decided that he was ready to retire. He sold the shop to Hermione for very little money. She had hired two assistants, Blaise Zabini and his wife, Chloe. They currently were on a brief vacation, celebrating Valentine's Day, thus leaving her to deal with the crowd alone. The shop was busy for a Tuesday but it didn't matter to her. She waited on each customer with the same amount of respect. The mid afternoon rush was the worst. After she had finished, she sat down and propped her feet upon a stool beneath the counter. There were a few customers in the shop, but no one required assistance. The thumping in her belly began once again, and she rested her hand upon her swollen abdomen. She was showing her pregnancy now, and she was a very proud mother to be. She wished she could shout to the world that she was carrying Harry Potter's child, but she couldn't. She would not risk her child. There were still a few scorned death eaters out there and she didn't want to take any chances. Several busybodies in the town were discussing her being pregnant with no husband or fiancé. Hermione ignored them and continued to live her life how she saw fit. As far as she knew, Severus still hadn't learned of her pregnancy nor had he been in to visit her. She received weekly owls from Tonks letting her know of the news at Hogwarts and in London. But none mentioned Severus or his whereabouts. All that she had been told was that he was gone. He had packed his things quietly and left during the break. No one had seen him since. Not even Albus. Hermione would keep them informed of her pregnancy and the news in her life. So far, there had been little to write about in that department. Her life consisted of running the shop, ordering supplies, eating, bathing, and sleeping. That was it. She had visited several operas and museums in her free time before she acquired the shop, but now, she didn't have free time. Recently, she had moved from the Villa into town. She wanted to be closer to work and she didn't like apparating. She purchased a modest home, and decorated it with both muggle and magical items. There were three extra bedrooms, and one became a nursery. She transformed one into an office and library, and the other she set up as a guest room. One evening, she was finishing up in the storeroom when she heard the bell ringing on the door, signaling that someone had entered. "I'll be right out. Just finishing up in here." She climbed atop the ladder, and reached for the jar of boomslang skin when she lost her footing. She reached for the shelf, dropping the glass jar. It shattered when it hit the floor and the customer rushed in to see what was happening. Just as she began to fall, he reached out his arms, and cushioned her fall. Hermione closed her eyes as she began to fall, praying that the impact of the floor didn't hurt her child. However, when she landed, it was into warm, strong arms. Not onto the cold, hard floor. She breathed a sigh of relief, and in doing so, she breathed in his scent. She didn't have to open her eyes to see who had rescued her. She already knew. "Will you always be around to save me?" Her breath hitched in her throat. "For as long as you need saving." His voice still had the same effect on her as it always had. She opened her eyes and took in a sight that she had long wanted to see. Severus stood before her. He had cut his hair a bit shorter, and he had the faintest hint of a beard upon his face. In her mind, he was dead sexy. There was no other way to describe it. "Is this your new profession? Rescuing witches in distress?" He leaned his head towards her, his lips merely millimeters from hers. "Only the one that I love." The words escaped his lips before his brain could register what he was saying. Hermione wanted to reply coldly to him. She wanted to yell at him, to scream at him for making her worry about him. But she couldn't. She tilted her head up toward him. If she moved her head, slightly to the right, she could kiss the lips she had dreamed about for months. Neither one knew who moved first, but their lips met, and their broken hearts were mended. ~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~ 


	8. Disease

****

****

**_"DISEASE"_**

****

**_Feels like you're making a mess_**

**_You're hell on wheels in a black dress_**

**_You drove me to the fire_**

**_And left me there to burn_**

****

**_Every little thing you do is tragic_**

**_All my life, oh was magic_**

**_Beautiful girl_**

**_I can't breathe_**

****

**_I got a disease_**

**_Deep inside me_**

**_Makes me feel uneasy baby_**

**_I can't live without you_**

**_Tell me what I am supposed to do about it_**

**_Keep your distance from it_**

**_Don't pay no attention to me_**

**_I got a disease_**

****

**_I think that I'm sick_**

**_But leave me be while my world is coming down on me_**

**_You taste like honey, honey_**

**_Tell me can I be your honey_**

**_Be, be strong_**

**_Keep telling myself it that won't take long till_**

**_I'm free of my disease_**

**_~Lyrics by Matchbox Twenty, Disease_**

(Recap from last chapter)

One evening, she was finishing up in the storeroom when she heard the bell ringing on the door, signaling that someone had entered.  "I'll be right out.  Just finishing up in here."  She climbed atop the ladder, and reached for the jar of boomslang skin when she lost her footing.  She reached for the shelf, dropping the glass jar.  It shattered when it hit the floor and the customer rushed in to see what was happening.  

Just as she began to fall, he reached out his arms, and cushioned her fall.  Hermione closed her eyes as she began to fall, praying that the impact of the floor didn't hurt her child.  However, when she landed, it was into warm, strong arms.  Not onto the cold, hard floor.  She breathed a sigh of relief, and in doing so, she breathed in his scent.  She didn't have to open her eyes to see who had rescued her.  She already knew.  

"Will you always be around to save me?" Her breath hitched in her throat.

"For as long as you need saving."  His voice still had the same effect on her as it always had.

Neither one knew who moved first, but their lips met and their broken hearts were mended.

~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~

Hermione closed her eyes and sighed, "if only it could be that simple."  She had been daydreaming yet again, wondering where Severus was.  She wanted him back in her life very badly.  At times, she almost had herself believing that Severus was watching over her.  It had been two months since Christmas, and she still hadn't heard a word from him.  He promised her he'd never leave her.  Yet, he had done that very thing.

Over the past few days, she began to wonder if she really meant anything to him at all.  She thought that perhaps she was what he needed at one time, but now that he had complete freedom, he didn't need her.  Her eyes began to well up with tears, and she quickly brushed them away.  "There will be no crying, young lady." 

She rose from the stool and turned the sign on the door to "CLOSED." She warded the door behind her as she left.  It was mid February and the night air was bitter cold against her warm face.

  "Hmm... Just like the heart of someone I know."  She thought out loud.  The winter snow was falling all around her, and the city lights were having a hard time illuminating the streets.  No one was out, other than Hermione.  The streets were bare.   Even the homeless man that begged in front of her store had found shelter somewhere warmer.  She remembered the cold winters in London, but this was far worse.  She knew it was because of the mountainous region.  And her thoughts traveled back to the Villa for a few moments.  She wondered what it looked like during this time of year.

The walk home was deliberately slow. She was in no hurry to go home to an empty house.  She rubbed her belly lovingly, thinking that the child within was all the love and comfort she needed.  By the start of summer, she would have her child to love and bestow her affections on.  But, deep within her soul, she knew she was missing something.  And that something was never far from her thoughts.

~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~

Severus poked at a log in the fire.  It was particularly cold in the Villa this evening.  He had grown accustomed to the cold of the dungeons, but even this was a bit too much for his liking.  He watched the snow fall in blankets all around his home.  The night stars were shining brightly.  As he drank a bit of warm brandy, he toasted the weather outside. How he longed to be holding Hermione in his arms on nights just like tonight.  He wondered where _she_ was, what _she_ was doing.  

He would be lying to himself if he said he didn't miss her touch.  Especially on cold nights like tonight.  He thought about his life, and how he had come to living back at home once again. His past was full of lies, betrayals, and atrocities.  He still could not believe that he hadn't been charged with any crimes he had committed during his time as a double agent.  He suspected that Albus had pulled a few strings, perhaps even threatened a few high ranking officials to ensure his complete innocence.  

And then, as if she was sent from Heaven, Hermione swept him into her arms and turned his world upside down.  He befriended her, and wondered to himself why he never tried to look past the know-it-all persona he had of her, while she was a student.  Then he reasoned, "Because she was my student."  Once they became acquaintances, and then friends, he knew he would fall completely in love with her.  He would never forget the morning he woke and realized that she held his heart in her hands.  That had been over a year ago. Yet he couldn't bring himself to tell her how he felt.  They had never even shared a kiss, let alone anything else that may make someone fall in love.  Yet, he knew that's what he felt for her.  

He stood by and watched while she and Harry shared their time together.  He couldn't blame them.  Clinging to the familiar in desperation was completely familiar.  But he would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous.  He knew why Harry had fallen in love with her, who couldn't?  She was classically beautiful.  She didn't need fancy robes or makeup to make her more attractive.  Her mind was a library of information just ready to burst.  She was clever, and a damn good witch in his opinion.  Yes, it was easy to fall in love with her.

Then, the circumstances of the war forced her to leave his life. He knew he would get his chance to be with her.  It would just take a bit of time.  The day they made love was one of the happiest days of his life, and he didn't have very many.  Yet, when he was so close to having her, he botched it up again and sent her away.  His present state wasn't so inspiring.  

At times when he was in the library, he could smell the perfume she wore. When he bathed, he could imagine her taking a bath in the very same tub.  He could imagine her pleasuring herself in his bed, just as he had done many nights since returning home.  His thoughts were always on _her_.  Yet, he couldn't bring himself to confront her.  Women were always his weakness.  And Hermione, she brought him to his knees. 

She invaded his every thought, every task he performed.  Sometimes, he even caught himself saying things to her out loud.  Oh yes, he had lost it.  Completely.  He briefly wondered if being insane felt this way, then drank the rest of his brandy.  He desperately needed a shave, and a bath couldn't hurt either.  Making his way into the bathroom, he remembered what he and Remus had talked about the day he left Hogwarts.

Remus had given him sound advice, but Severus could not follow it.  All he was told was that Hermione would need him.  She would need his protection, his support but above all else, she would need his love.  Severus thought Remus had been spending too much time in Trelawney's tower.  He was too stubborn to admit that perhaps Remus was right. 

He had spent the past two months, sulking in the Villa.  He wondered aimlessly from room to room to see if she had left anything behind.  He wanted something to cling to.  Just anything, that helped ease the aching void within his chest.  

When he left Hogwarts, Albus managed to find him within a few weeks.  Whether he had searched somewhere else, or just let Severus have a few moments alone, he did not know.  But he received an owl from Albus stating that he had to live there until the second week of June.  Then, if he wished, he could return to Hogwarts and resume his position, or he could go anywhere in the world and enjoy his inheritance.  But Severus realized that he would never be out of Albus' reach.  No matter where he went, he could always be found.  

He had also been informed within that letter that Tonks would be visiting Hermione during the Easter Hols, and Remus would like to have a word with him, if he were available.  Severus had chuckled.

"Well, let me check my little black book.  Let's see.   Each morning, I have sulking in bed until noon, then a few bites of lunch.  Ah, then there's more sulking in the library until dinner and perhaps botching a potion or two, and then drinking myself into a stupor from 7:00 until I pass out.  Perhaps I could squeeze him in between dinner and the passing out.  Or, perhaps not."

Of course, Tonks wouldn't be traveling alone.  It seemed that those two had grown inseparable since the war had ended.  Severus concluded that if a lonely werewolf and a bubble gum pink haired Auror could get together, then perhaps hope wasn't entirely lost.

In his heart, he knew what he had to do.  He needed to go to her.  He needed to tell her that he was a complete arse and that if she never wanted to see him ever again, he would understand.  He had to tell her about the Villa and his family.  But most of all, he had to make her see that he loved her with every fiber of his being, and that she was his very reason for living.  At times, she drove him insane, his body raging with fury.  And at others, he was so kind, so loving and caring.  She truly brought out the best and worst in him.  And, he absolutely loved her for that.

~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~

As she stepped into her house, she could tell something wasn't right.  Since arriving in France, she hadn't felt the need to put up any wards. She felt completely safe in France.  And now, she wished she had.  She turned on the light and viewed the wreckage before her.  Someone had broken into her home, obviously looking for something.  She immediately pulled her wand, ready to attack anyone that may still be there.  

After a very thorough sweep of the house, she realized that the intruder or intruders were gone.  She began cleaning up in the living room, and slowly made her way through the house and into her library.  The painting in front of her safe had not been bothered.

With a few quick spells, everything was back in order.  She made her way into the kitchen and froze when she saw the table.  There was a note written in an ancient language, one that wasn't so well known.  She quickly scanned the note and shuddered as she thought about what it said.  

_"We will return.  You have something of great importance to us.  We will not stop until we find what we are looking for."  _

Hermione thought about the contents of her home, and she realized what they wanted was hidden within the safe, Harry's wand.  She felt uncomfortable and a bit afraid.  She decided that she should inform Albus of the threat.  She threw a bit of floo powder into the fire, and soon Hermione's head was floating in the Headmaster's private quarters. 

~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~

Severus got out of the tub and haphazardly tied a robe around his waist.  He felt a sudden chill run up his spine, and supposed it was a draft.  Usually, he could forget about Hermione by remembering something from his childhood, or reciting the ingredients to several complicated potions.  Tonight however, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off with her.  

He decided to turn in early, and in the morning, he would venture into town and maybe walk by her shop.  And, if he found a bit of that Gryffindor courage, he might even enter.

~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~

Albus had instructed Hermione to ward her house very thoroughly.  He told her that he would be sending someone to watch over her until he could get some information about the reasons behind the attack.  Hermione had given him Harry's wand, and Albus instructed her that he would keep it on himself at all times.  They shared a few pleasant exchanges about the baby and Hermione fought the urge to ask about Severus.

Albus could see that she wanted to inquire about him, but he understood why she wouldn't.  Her pride and her stubbornness prohibited her from doing so.  

Once they finished their conversation, she had warded her home, and Albus had sent for Tonks and Remus.  If anyone could protect her, it would be those two.

They arrived at Hermione's late in the night; however, she welcomed them with open arms.  There was no mention of Severus, and they helped her strengthen her wards.  If one work leaked out that she was pregnant with Harry's child, they could have an even larger problem on their hands.

The following afternoon, Remus decided to go and pay Severus a visit.  It was clear to him that Severus was waiting for Voldemort's return before he would go and see her on his own.  Remus thought that perhaps Tonks and he could set them up so that they would see each other.  The sooner Severus learned of her pregnancy, the sooner he could accept it.  And, with a bit of luck, maybe they even could work out their problems before the child arrived.  Hermione would need his support, and Severus deserved to be there when the child was born.

Remus informed Tonks of his plan, and just after lunch, he made his way to the Villa.  Severus noticed that presence of magic and made his way down stairs to see who had come.  He groaned as he opened the door.  He didn't want to deal with this, not yet.  But it appeared that fate had something different in mind.

"Hello Remus, please come in."

"Thank you Severus."  He led Remus into the sitting room and offered him something to drink.  Severus took two tumblers from the cabinet and poured them a drink of Scotch.

"What brings you here now?  I thought you wouldn't be arriving for another few weeks."

"We had a slight change in plans.  There was an attack last night and we were forced to come to France a bit earlier than expected."  Remus wanted to just his reaction, and purposely omitted Hermione's name.  He judged correctly.  Severus completely panicked.

"Is Hermione alright?  She wasn't hurt was she?"  Severus began to pace.  His mind raced with thoughts of what could have happened to her.

"Yes, she's fine.  Her home was broken into prior to her arriving home from work.  They didn't take anything, but they definitely were looking for something of great importance."

"What could she possibly possess that would be of such importance to someone else?"

"Hermione has Harry's wand, remember?  Well, she had it until last night.  Albus now is in possession of it.  What I can't understand is why does someone want his wand?  It won't work for anyone else; at least effectively anyway."

"Remus, have you learned nothing over the past two decades?  If someone gets an idiotic notion in their head, they will stop at nothing until they succeed in getting what they want."

"That's true Severus. I wouldn't put anything past those Death Eaters still out there."  Remus thought for a moment, and then put his plan into action.  "We'll be staying with Hermione for a while; Albus has requested the ministry send someone to fill in for us at Hogwarts.  Why don't you show me around this beautiful city since I'll be calling it home for the next few months?"

Severus realized he hadn't left the Villa in days and decided that a trip into town would be worth while.  There were some things he needed to buy, and he reluctantly admitted the fresh air would do him some good.  "What the hell.  It's not as if I have anything better to do."  Remus felt the hurt in his voice and was determined that they would meet up with Tonks and Hermione.  If everything were going according to plan, they would be meeting within the next hour or so.

Remus steered the conversation towards Hermione and Severus finally broke down.  "She's driving me insane."

Remus chuckled.  "How so?  You haven't even seen her since you arrived here."

"I can't eat, I can't sleep.  Every thought is somehow related to her.  I even talk to her when she's not here.  Tell me I'm not losing it."

"You're in love, mate.  Welcome to the club.  I can't imagine going one day without seeing Nymphadora's delicate face.  Of course, that may be the wolf in me.  But, I just think it is a natural reaction to being completely in love with someone.  You know, I'm going to ask her to marry me.  I want to spend the rest of my days with her."

Severus was envious of Remus.  He had it all.  And it seemed so easy for him.  Why couldn't he be like Remus?  Why couldn't their relationship be as easy as Remus and Tonks'?  Then Severus remembered. _Because nothing is ever easy when you're concerned._  

"What should I do then?  I have considered your past advice, but I cannot see what you mean by her needing me."  They were just outside the shop and Severus hadn't even remembered walking that way.   Remus was good at manipulating him; very good.  "She is doing very well on her own, apparently."  He motioned to the shop name above the window.

The sign read closed, and Severus assumed it was due to the attack the prior evening. 

Yes she is successful, but she needs more than that in her life.  She needs you, you old prat. Swallow your damn pride, go and apologize for shutting her out of your life, then beg for forgiveness."  Severus scoffed.

"I do not beg."  Remus just chuckled in response.

"Well, you damn well better learn.  You won't last one month without having to beg for something.  Let me give you a little advice about women.  They are somewhat moody, but I suppose you're experienced in that."  Severus glared at him.

"They often get into crying fits, or often get frustrated over the smallest thing.  We, men in general, are often forgetful and don't pay very close attention to the _little things, so to speak and find ourselves in precarious situations.  Heed my warning.  The sooner you learn to beg for forgiveness, the better off you will be."  Severus had to admit, Remus did seem like he knew what he was talking about.  However, he still was reluctant to go crawling at her feet, begging her to forgive him._

'Come on Sev, I'm starving.  Where can we get a good meal around here?  My treat."  Severus led Remus into a small alcove, and then tapped a rusty lock on an old door.  The paint was peeling and the windows of the building were covered in soot.  It reminded Remus of the Leaky Cauldron.  The lock turned to silver, and then the door creaked open.

"This place has the best food.  I used to love coming here as a child.  You can get the best French cuisine in all of France just inside this door."  They made their way into the small restaurant.  Remus hoped Tonks was still tracking him with the location spell she had placed upon him before he left.  

They ordered something to drink, and right on cue, Remus noticed Tonks and Hermione enter the small restaurant.  Remus cast a quick glance in their direction and Tonks asked the waiter to seat them just behind Severus and Remus' table.  Hermione and Severus had their backs to one another and neither noticed the other being present.

Both couples sat and ate, and Tonks began to question Hermione about Severus.  She hoped that Severus would over hear them and realize it was he that Hermione was discussing.

"Hermione, tell me, have you had no luck finding him?"  

"No, I haven't.  He must have cast some sort of block on him because I've tried every locator spell known to man and I cannot find him.  I believe that I'm going to have to forget about him Tonks.  I can't go on forever pining for a love that never will be."

Remus over heard Hermione, and knew that Severus had to have heard them as well.  Apparently, he hadn't though; because he didn't even acknowledge the fact that someone was sitting right behind him.  Let alone it being Hermione and Tonks. 

Remus tried Tonks' tactic and asked Severus about Hermione once again.  "So tell me Severus, how long are you planning on waiting?"

"I have no idea Remus.  I just know that she'll probably slam the door in my face if I were to show up on her doorstep."

"She may surprise you, you know."

"Oh yes, she may let me in before she throws me out." Severus himself chuckled at that.  Instantly, Hermione turned her head around and glared at Remus.  She didn't say anything though; she just let him keep on talking.  She was furious that they had known Severus was in France and hadn't told her.  Tonks mouthed an apology and Hermione just watched the back of Severus' head as he spoke of her.

"She is wonderful, you know?  I find myself lost in her eyes, and my senses assaulted with the simplest touch.  She is so intoxicating; it nearly takes my breath away.  I've never felt this way before, and I know I'll never feel something so strong ever again.  Her skin is like velvet, and her lips like satin."  Remus watched as Severus bared his soul to him.

Severus caught himself drifting off and quickly straightened up.  "Well, I've shared more than I ever intended."  He chided himself for speaking about something so personal with Remus, but he felt liberated in sharing his love for Hermione with someone else.

"You really love her, don't you Severus?"

"More than life itself.  I can't fathom the thought of never holding her in my arms ever again."

"Could it be the feared Severus Snape truly does have a heart?"  Remus leaned across the table.  "I'll keep it a secret."  He winked at Severus.

"Thank you.  I wouldn't want to be the cause of an onslaught of unexplained heart attacks.  I really should tell her, shouldn't I?"

Remus nodded.  Hermione had listened to every word and tears began to fall down her cheeks.  She knew he loved her, deep in her heart she knew.  But to hear him speak the words made it all seem so true.

Hermione tapped Severus on the shoulder, and to his astonishment, he realized she had been sitting behind him, listening to his every word.  "Hermione."  He could only say her name.  She looked beautiful, and his heart ached at the thought of how long it had been since he had last seen her face.  

"I heard you, you know?"  He wiped the tears from her cheeks. 

"I know.  I am sorry I've been a complete arse.  I suppose I didn't know how to act because I had never been completely in love before."

"I know Severus.  I forgive you.  But first, there are a few things we'll need to discuss."  Neither one noticed Remus nor Tonks heading for the door.  It seemed their work was done.  They had gotten Hermione and Severus back together and they could relax and enjoy the rest of their time in France.  Nevertheless, the relaxation was short lived.

"I have something I need to tell you, Severus."    She stood up before him.  As she unbuttoned her overcoat, Severus caught first sight of her pregnancy.  "I am pregnant."  Severus froze, staring straight at her slowly swelling abdomen.  He was completely dumbfounded.

"YOU'RE PREGNANT?!"  The entire restaurant had gone quiet at his shouting.  Hermione was appalled at his reaction.  However, her next words would break his heart, even if only for just a short while.  

"YES I'M PREGNANT AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN THE FATHER!"  Tonks and Remus turned right around and headed back to the table.  Perhaps they were a bit premature in assuming they had worked out everything completely.  

~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~~

A/N:  Sorry for the delay… School really took a toll on me last quarter.  Expect regular updates.  Sorry for the formatting errors.  I can't get my editor to work just right.  This hasn't been betaed yet.  I wanted to get it out to you. 


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